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Corona Lionheart IV
by on September 17, 2020
Hello, everyone
This blog is going to be a rather more serious one and one that it's been long overdue and it's time for me to address a lot of things. I don't know how long this will be, so if it ends up being quite a read, I do apologize. I won't be including a tl;dr, so please read it fully to understand what is happening.
I have asked the admin board, and they have granted me permission to pin this blog to the feed, as I want as many people to see this, as it's rather important. The blog will eventually be unpinned.
I've had been working on Canterlot Avenue for a long time. I think ever since the first site I ever did, EquestrianMagikz. Immediately after the failure of that site, I started planning on another site with the help of my friend, GoldenHeart. We had been putting thought and planning through all of that time, spending day after day, and as many hours of our free time as possible into building this place for all of you. With the help of Poniverse, we've been able to come this far. I am happy with the success of Canterlot Avenue, and I am excited about it continuing, especially with the possibility of G5 for MLP coming soon. Although, there have been issues in which I will explain.
So yeah, we got the site going and so on, and thinks have been honky dory, right? Nope...Not at all. Throughout this journey, despite my passion and ambitions to stir CA in the right direction, and to put together a cohesive team that gets along with one another, I've failed to do that. The journey throughout the three years of CA has been rather bumpy and really messy internally. The fact of the matter is, I owe all of you, the community, an apology. There's a lot of people on CA who have been in staff, or not in staff at all, that know that my leadership has been terrible. I'm not the leader that a lot of you may think I am. I am ill-prepared and my poor judgment and management skills have lead CA into a situation in which it's been internally in a life or death state for quite some time. And the problem isn't that people haven't warned me before, no. I've had many people come to me with their concerns, but...because I'm an idiot and stubborn, I didn't wanna acknowledge the issues that were right in front of my face and chose to brush it off and pretend that everything was fine. Except, it wasn't. Each time things just ended up getting worse and worse, and my inability to address the issues that I have, have to lead to a lot of staff leaving. I've also failed to take the opportunities that Poniverse had given me time and time again and have disappointed them every single time. I've been told how I could improve, but the truth is that I've failed to meet the expectations of everyone.
My actions have put Poniverse in a bad light, and by extension CA and the staff itself. One thing that I do have to say is, please do not place the blame on staff for any of the issues with moderation and so on. They are not to blame. Poniverse is not to blame for the issues that CA has gone through. It is all on me, and it has been long overdue that I recognize that it's my actions that have to lead to the demotivation, resignation, and wreckage that is CA's staff team right now. Despite my having all of the passion and determination to serve the community that I helped bring together, I've singlehandedly, even if unintentionally, been the cause of its failure. I have lashed out at staff members, conveyed the wrong message due to my poor wording skills, in which have to lead to a lot of misunderstandings, and I've gotten myself into bad situations, whether with other staff members, and users, to the point in which I've come close to forcing Poniverse to pull the plug on CA. I recognize now more than ever that these aren't the things that someone who should be a leader should do. And I can say without a doubt that I have not, for the longest time, been the leader. Even if I was at the forefront of it all, I have been more of a source of a disaster than a leader. But I was too proud of myself to acknowledge it, and it was that pride that leads to the staff saying they had enough.
Today, I'm here to say that I am sorry. I am sorry to all of those who I have wronged, to all of those who I have burned bridges with, and to all of my team and all of my users. Whether you have interacted with me or not, I have failed you. As the face of CA and as the person who is supposed to carry this site that you all enjoy into success, has been doing the opposite. And I have kept the truth of this hidden for long enough. But it's time for all of that to stop. It's time that you all knew the truth. The truth that your "leader" hasn't been doing his job right for the past three years. And that the only reason CA has lasted this long is because of the help of Poniverse doing everything they have done to clean up my messes that I've been too irresponsible to clean up myself. For the past two days, the staff has been in complete and utter turmoil due to several things in which I have done. And while I won't get into a lot of details, due to the Non-Disclosure Agreement that I enforce on the team and should follow myself, I feel that you all deserve the right to know that the staff had reached a breaking point and it all was going to be a "Get out or we kick you out" situation. I understood now more than ever that I needed to stop playing pretend and that I had to do something to fix this before I lost the ability to continue to work on the very project, the very home that I created, not just for myself, but for you all. I still have a lot of ideas for this place, and I still have a vision in which I want to reach for this place. So, after asking the staff and Poniverse for a compromise, I have decided to force changes on myself for the better of the site, and for the team.
Firstly...I will be on temporary leave from the team, effective immediately since last night. During this time, in which the time was determined by the administration board and not by me, I will take the time to self-analyze myself. To figure out what is wrong with me and to fix those things. This is time that I will take for myself to relax, take care of personal issues at home, and work on my anger issues and try to reach a goal in which I know I can reach that will benefit the team and myself. As I stated before, Poniverse has tried to help me do this, but I have failed them. And while I HAVE changed in some ways, the changes haven't met the expectations of many who want to see more. They have been slow changes, and people have run out of patience waiting for me to take my time to change. Now I have to push myself to try harder to speed up those changes that I have to make in my life. Secondly...I have decided that, upon my return to staff, I will force myself to have reduced authority. I have asked Poniverse, and the administration board of CA to impose restrictions on what I can, and cannot do. Not only this will force me to learn to improve and adapt to the demands the teams expect for me to meet, but will prevent me from causing disharmony within the various teams. This means that I will no longer be involved in any moderation action that is taken by the mods. I will have no say in the decisions the team makes unless the issue is brought up to the administration board, more on that later. I also will prevent myself from interfering with PR, and thus allowing the admins who I hired myself to run those teams, to do just that without me micromanaging them or stepping over their toes. It will prevent me from causing misunderstandings and frustrations for the team due to my failure of wording things correctly.
Yes...I will still be the founder of CA, as...that's essentially a title that you can't revoke from someone who founded something, and yes, I will still be an administrator, but I will be just that. I will not be involved in the day to day operations anymore for an undetermined amount of time. I will be allowed to provide feedback to the PR leader if I have ideas for the team, as well as be able to participate in events, but I will not have access to those rooms where the team works in, same with Mods. I will still be involved in major decision makings, such as rule proposals, rule changes, any administrative decision that regards the site, and in the events of any moderative action that is raised to the admin board that require bans, I will be involved in that. However, my interaction with the team will be little to none for quite some time. This, as aforementioned, will allow the teams to run on their own without my intervention, and to hopefully restore a much-unified team in the future.
Again, I don't want anyone to put the blame on the team, or Poniverse. I put myself in this situation...I deserve this. This is what has to be done for the sake of the site, and simply put, to ensure that it continues without me burning it to the ground. I hope that eventually, I can restore trust in me to the team, and the willingness of them wanting to work with me again in the future. In the meantime, the demand for me to distance myself, and that is what I will do. The team has done well this far, but it's time for me to realize that I am, in this current state, a hindrance to their performance. When the time comes, and the admins feel that I have shown enough improvements, you might see me have fewer and fewer restrictions. But as it stands, this can't be the case. Not anymore.
For the time being, during my leave, please do not message me with things that regard any form of CA staff matter. Any messages regarding the site will be ignored. Once I have returned to the team, I will announce it. Even still, there will be issues in which I will redirect you to the appropriate source. Anyway, thank you all for reading. I hope that one day I can become the leader you all deserve, but at this time, this isn't the case. Thank you for your support for CA for as long as you have done so, and hopefully with these changes, the site is able to flourish into something better.
Corona Lionheart IV
Unfortunately, since I can't close out the comment section, since I just kinda wanted this to just be more of just something for people to read, not comment, i'm going to ask that if you're going to comment unnecessarily mean comments, to please reserve your words. I don't want this comment section ...View More