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Lydia Umbralama
by on December 22, 2018
**Translated from It's original Trotsylvanian**
Dearest Subjects,
Would it kill you to at least leave the Local 8-12 open when you "sense" me coming down from my humble keep? Look being your terrifying overseer is a tiring job and I want...nay, Need a Sloopie every once and a while. I am honestly about fed up with it! you wouldn't want to anger me, the remover of the turks, the very queen of vampires?
I mean...maybe sometimes I'm Barrelling down making the sky turn red...and all I want is a chili-cheese hotdog!...
but I get it you're terrified of your immortal Countess...
Okay look I'm err...sorry about the giant pile of hooves that one time I swear that wasn't me!...
look...just keep that one open hell put someone with a deathwish behind the counter.
yeah you guys suck.
With love, High Countess of Trotsylvania Lydia Umbralama.
Topics: satire