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by on March 14, 2019
She had the vague, fleeting thought.
How did the passage of time work in this place? She had a window on her room. Granted said window was always shuttered away by her, blinds pulled to block out what meager light filtered through the cloud layer of this place...
It was the fact that light level never seemed to vary much. She had lost track of night and day, and truly felt like she was trapped in a limbo...and she found much comfort in it.
Her reverie was interrupted by a soft knock on her door. It's barely more than a tap, it's almost as if the hoof delivering it was hesitant to even do so.
She of course responds with a "Come in. I'm decent." at a slight attempt at humor.
The door slowly creaks open, revealing a mare with a soft cream-colored coat and wispy-blonde hair, who enters the room as if in a daze. Her eyes have a strangely empty look to them-the look of being whose spark of life has been taken. She takes a moment to announce in a breathless voice. "The Doctor is here for your appointment...if you are feeling well miss."
The mare just regards the empty-looking nurse with a pang of shock and horror. She's seen that look only a couple times before-it's never been well for the owner. She simply nods, jerking back to reality as she realizes the mare it waiting on her. "Yeah...tell him to come in..." she groans as she pulls herself out of bed, swapping to her chair so it seems like she's at least made some effort for her guest.
The nurse bows the tiniest bit before retreating, leaving the door open. Her beat is quickly replaced by stallion who looks like he's sacrificed the better part of his headfor science, his metallic horn glinting in the dim light as he enters, taking one of her spare seats. "Good day Syn. How are you?"
She looks at the window as she actually takes a moment to think about the question, before regarding the Doctor, who is giving her his undivided attention.
"...desire for self-harm has diminished, I'm not craving substances, and I'm getting a few cravings back. Maybe cheesecake..." her mouth quirks in a small smile at the last part, before returning to the a dull, depressed scowl again. "Still missing them..."
The Doctor raises a hoof slowly, pressing her softly as he puts a question to her. "You mentioned a 'them' before during one of your synaptic overloads. I couldn't help but wonder who they were. If this is not information you wish to share now, or ever...I won't ask again."
The mare...kneads at the armrests of her chair as she looks at the shuttered window as if for inspiration, before returning the Doctor's question. "Ever heard of the Fetlock Five?" she asks, turning slowly to face him. She doesn't seem to care for the answer, immediately following up. "In Manehattan, there is an institute dedicated to studying magical quirks and phenomena related to living beings. I mean obviously, unicorns and stuff have magic, that's obvious." she says, pointing at his horn. "But sometimes there's stuff you can't explain, creatures with abilities that defy logic. This institute studies these."
She looks down at her hooves as she kneads one of the tears on the chair, starting to widen it. "I was one such, unicorn so unexciting, I just had like...a wierd quirk where my power levels were above a normal unicorn from a young age. Cool, I guess....I dunno." she shakes her head as she starts to yank fluff out of the chair, a glare forming. "Of course, there were a lot of us there, and we didn't like just...being...test subjects? I mean it's not like they hurt us or did anything against our will but you, getting told "oh wow look at you, enough mental power to move an entire building, that's so impressive!" and yet that's it...they never do anything else with it-like yeah I'm amazing, now what?" she shrugs a little.
The Doctor is regarding all this in silence, with a slight gleam in his eye.
"So of course, a handful of us decided that we were going to actually use our skills to make a difference. A gryphon with too much keratin in her feathers. A diamond dog with really strong bones. A pegasus with a keen eye. A cat who could fit through really tight spaces. And me, the mental prodigy. We were young, crazy...and full of enthusiasm. We made a real life SUPERHRO group!" she changes her normally-dull voice to sound excited and fantastic as she waves her hooves. It's clear she is bitter over the memory.
"It sounds like the actions of people who have compassion in their hearts." The doctor notes neutrally.
"Yeah. It was. We didn't...really consider the rest of the world though." she sighs, staring down at the ground. "It was alright at first. I mean there were rough situations, some of us got hurt but...we looked out for each other. Usually were so scary people chose to avoid fighting with us and just...surrendered doing altercations. Not forever though.." she shakes her head as she goes back to ripping out more fluff. "Copper....Pinny....she got it bad one night. I got distracted, it was usually my job to block bullets. She got hit that time...the first..and the last time..." her voice goes hollow as her eyes bulge. "I still....remember what her blood felt like...all warm as it just...oozed out of her. I tried. I tried to put it back, but I'm not a doctor. And the real doctors took too long to get there..."
She takes a moment, her head moving slowly to look at the stallion. "...the Fetlock Five became the Fetlock Four. I thought maybe we could replace her later, that we should keep going in her honor..." she closes her eyes, slowly, before shaking her head. "We couldn't We didn't. We broke, the night she was killed and after that, it was just a downward spiral. We all...coped ways we knew how. For me it was dulled the pain for a bit." she raises a hoof, pointing at her head. "It was during that time that the doctors made the connection that my mental powers were actually synced to my brainwaves. Hyperactivity in my cerebrum causes my brain powers to get stronger...and between stress and drinking..." she grins hollowly, snorting.
" hit a crescendo one night months ago. I had to respond to an emergency call while I had been drinking. It had already been a bad day, but I didn't want to let my friends down...again. I rushed my ass over to the scene of the burglary-it was some assholes that had stolen an entire shipment of medical supplies. Should have been an easy detain and retrieve. Except...they had guns...." she shakes her head, eyes bulging as she starts laughing. It's not out of amusement...
"Still kinda don't remember what happened, but the sound of was so loud, and pounding, and my head was swimming, I remembered Pinny...and I just...everything just...BAM...." she seems to be describing a PTSD her case...worse.
"I woke up in the middle of a crater, and like....everyone was dead. My teammates, the burglars, the dog on the street outside..." she laughs hollowly again, holding her head. "I knew there was no way I wasn't gonna get locked up after that. Even if the Institute could back the accident as a medical phenomena, I would have to be put up for the safety of the rest of society."
"Do you think you're imprisoned here?" the Doctor asks her softly.
"...I feel like I wanna be..." the mare respond as she looks at him.
"Valid, Synapse." he nods as he stands. "Don't forget that we're all monsters in skin too small for us. We're all born with things in us we sometimes wish we didn't have, and often can't control. It doesn't make you a bad person. I believe you've made the right decision and I am here for you if you desire to find a new path in life." he nods at her as he goes to take his leave. He pauses at the door, looking back with a slight smile. "What flavor would you like?"
"Huh...?" she says as she looks over at him, eyes watering.
"Cheescake, dear." he says, with a twinkle in his eye.
"Oh....t...turtle I guess..." she mumbles as she looks away, waiting for the door to close so she can be left to her silence.