Spackle's OC Rating Thread

NAMEGENDERSPECIESBODY COLOURMANE COLOUREYE COLOURFOALHOODYeah I remember my normal childhood where my father was killed by the mob. It happens to everyone. Yep. Significant trauma due to the death - not to mention that you’ve now lost your primary male role model, and will suffer significantly in your adulthood because of it. Yeah. NORMAL, YOU KNOW? On a slightly related note, fuck every single OC on this website who have dead parents. MLP doesn’t have explicitly stated death. Make your parent go missing because of a crime case, or something. At least when you don’t have closure on significant events in your character’s past - it gives your character something to motivate them in RP. “Hey Ryan-shit, where’s your dad?”“My dad’s dead.”Vs. “Hey Ryan-shit, where’s your dad?”“I don’t know. He disappeared during one of his cases and nobody’s seen him since. I’ve dedicated my adult life to finding him and tracking down whoever kidnapped him.”You tell me which is more compelling of a character. CUTIE MARKI before E except after C. Also, since I don’t have an image for this so I can judge for myself - but IMHO all MLP styled objects should try to not have explicit black outlines. All the outlines for objects and characters are all coloured, not black. CUTIE MARK STORYThat’s really pathetic. Actually it’s pathetic in two separate ways. The first, because your character is an utter idiot and needs to mind his own damn business, and two because you put the absolute minimum amount of effort into this, and I feel robbed of the time I could have spent doing something more constructive than telling you what you already know - this character is boring, uncreative, and unimaginative.There are way way way WAY better and more interesting ways to try and put across that your character wants to protect and help others. This is literally the most cliche, stupid, overused plotline to convey that to the reader. PERSONALITYOh wow, great personality. You’re EXACTLY LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE FUCKING PLANET. Seriously, I don’t get it with these people who think that “I’m pretty quiet, but I am very talkative when you get to know me.”Well no shit. Everyone’s like that. If you don’t know someone that well, you’re not going to stick Wonka nerds in your nose then sneeze them out like a fucking carebear shotgun. What the fuck do you mean by gritty? What the fuck do you mean by outside? Do you mean that you try to put on a tough outward appearance to hide your vulnerabilities? If so - fuck off, that’s not a personality trait. That’s called being insecure. Being insecure is the personality trait. Insecure people try to hide their true selves in favour of a construct that they believe is more desirable. Which, if you think of it that way, then all you’re doing is shooting yourself in the foot and preventing yourself from making meaningful connections with like-minded people. Be yourself, just don’t be autistic about it. If you have no idea what I mean by ‘just don’t be autistic about it’... then oooooooh boy. So what your personality boils down to is, “THIS CHARACTER IS INSECURE”, which is completely in line with the rest of the submission.LIKESWhy do I get the feeling like you’re actually underage, and put beer in there just so you can feel that your character has depth. Which it doesn’t. It’s actually as shallow as my taste in women. Which both starts and ends at, “They look like boys, only feminine.”Also beer, while an adequate way to bond with people over a game of football in the pub, is not a like that you want to put on your fucking character sheet. DISLIKESNobody likes gangbangers. Gangbangers don’t even like gangbangers. This is a stupid dislike. You’re also a monster because jaywalking is nothing less than the expression of one’s ability to cross wherever the FUCK they want without being told what to do. SKILLSMarksman? Really? We’re bringing guns into this now. *sigh* I don’t have a meaningful response that I have not presented already. I’d also like to point out that Criminal Profiling covers a very vast array of skills. Are you good at physical, psychological, linkage analysis? If you say all of them I’m going to assume that this is a troll because that’s possibly just as if not more stupid than the entirety of the last character I reviewed in this thread. DETAILED HISTORYWow.Don’t worry, you’ve successfully bored me with the lack of details. I am going to highlight this again, because this is the second time I’ve been told that the DEATH OF HIS IMMEDIATE BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS NOT SIGNIFICANT.Ugh. Wow. That’s really pathetic preaching. Pathetic because it literally does not make logical sense, and also because saying the character’s father was ‘fair’ is an absolute lie.Justice is given in one of two forms: Punishment, or rehabilitation. Punishment is inherently unfair, because there is no way to determine absolute quantity of loss in order to determine what is reasonable punishment. People who do not truly understand justice systems parrot the kind of bullshit that your character’s dad does. There’s no such thing as ‘fair’, in punishment based justice. There is only judgement. Which is part of the reason why the US has a punishment based prison system; because illogical decisions are hereditary on that continent apparently, and they don’t want to stop crime - just make money off it. Also if you change the context of the person saying that exact phrase from a municipal justice to a gang lieutenant - it becomes very clear just how much of a gang the government really is. Likely unintended lethal weapon reference. In Lethal Weapon it gave significance to the character. In this, it makes me want to kill myself. Do people honestly still do comparative grading, or is this just a trope that people don’t ever want to let go of? It’s a shit trope, and your character suffers for its inclusion. I see that he served in the Midtown precinct. Smart people with STEM degrees get jobs in investigation, not violence happy beat cops who did a few years in the police airsoft cosplay team. Physical Attributes: 3Psychological Attributes: 1Historical Attributes: 1Unity: 1If you put any effort into your character, it might be ok. But you didn’t. Total: 6Verdict: Requires immediate incineration. TLDR; Self insert OC fantasizes of an alternate universe where they’re not a boring dull piece of shit. Tips of the day:Commas is not cruise control for sentence structure. They’re used to separate two independent clauses. Which is a smart person way of saying two complete ideas. Using them incorrectly just makes you write like William Shatner speaks. Writing too much is always better than not writing enough. Beating an idea or concept into the ground at least still puts the point across. Being verbose doesn’t automatically make whatever you wrote good - so just don’t be a dipshit.