Words? Feelings? Actions? Acci's Diary #1

Dear self, have i done something wrong? i usually try and make everypony happy - but it just so seems that whatever i do, even if i don't realize it . . . something that i say or do it makes ponies/people upset... i feel awful after this - and i try to apologize, whenever i apologize its real! i truly mean it that i am, "very...sorry," but even sometimes - no matter what i do - they still run away from me.... or.. have you ever heard its very, VERY easy - to smile around everypony else, to create that mask that hides everything? and they ask if you're okay, ad you say yes? but you aren't? thats me!~ ^w^ but not all the time - a lot of ponies/people make me happy, and i try not to rub all of my problems into their faces, because its not theirs to deal with or handle. even if they're trying to help i feel bad... but again!~ I, Acci, love to make other ponies happy!~ ^w^ oc requests, or just that bubbly action makes them smile and i love it!~ But . . . at the same time - even when im smiling and i'm laughing outloud and being just-- adorable in my own way - i feel down..? why? Sincerely~ Yourself, Acci <33