Castlevania Equestria: Paralogue 1: Sticky Fingers

Trish groans loudly as, for the third time this week, the wifi goes out. He's only been able to afford the cheapest service for the little moving fort he'd enchanted, he didn't have more for anything else. Which is not good, he'd been in the middle of researching possible cures for vampirism, since his books had worn him out. Of course this takes some serious research since half the articles are made-up or fanfiction-level solutions. It's sad. But it's now sadder cause he can't do anything at all, and faceplants on his table, groaning. He jumps slightly as a voice rings out behind him though. "Ya know, we could probably leech wifi off a cafe or something if you parked next door...." He turns to find that minotaur that skulks about the headquarters munching an entire mango. He smiles slightly as he fixes his glasses, ever polite. "It doesn't quite work like that-the location of the ENTRANCE can be changed-the location of the actual building, not so much." he says shakily. "If we had money for a better reciever box thing..." "The router? Why did you buy a cheap one?" the minotaur says as she raises a brow. "I may look fancy, as does everything I touch, but I actually don't have much to my name outside of the money I make off of being a personal doctor for the Canterlot elite. So not that much..." he sighs with a huff. "Ah. Wait so you're....funding this whole thing...." she points around at the shiny alchemy lab and study combo. "....yourself?" she looks impressed. "Yes...that's the gist of it." he says glumly as he sets his tablet down. "This technology has not been cheap either..." "K so, I mean, this is an organization people got money to chip in right?" she says as she gestures with the mango, squirting juice everywhere. "I mean we got like what....those two dorks from a different universe, that one cop....uhhhhh..." she realize that's maybe not a lot of people... "Mmmmm and you, yes, sadly I've yet to see a single monetary contribution..." Trish says with a prim sniff, avoiding eye contact with her. His tone makes his point though, and she raises her hands. "Yo, I ain't make money from demon hunting, I occasionally get free meals, that's it." "And I imagine everyone else is in a similar predicament. We do what we do because we can-not for monetary gain. But this unfortunately means we are permanently devoid of funds." he shrugs. "That is just how it is." "Mmmmm...well...we could always just...appropriate funds. You know....find some ways to....move stuff around...get some spare cash on the side?" she says evasively. The handsome stallion tilts his head at her. "I don't know? I've only ever had this job. What exactly do you mean?" The minotaur sighs as she eats the last of her mango, hurling the pit. "Like....the....you know-man you're so innocent it's scary. I got ways of making money. Can steal and sell stuff." Trish just blinks, settling his glasses. "...I can't condone theft? Why would you suggest that. I cannot fund our organization, now matter how dire the need, off of criminal activity." "What iiiiffffff...we steal stuff from criminals and sell it to other criminals?" the minotaur says with an innocent look. "....I...wh...wha? What is the...logic in this? If you have the skills to be stealing from criminals you should be returning their stolen goods back to their rightful owners." the stallion says as he pokes the tablet, struggling to re-attain wifi. "Oh they'll get them back-after we tip the police off. Seeing as one of them now works for us...two birds with one stone. Funding ourselves while cleaning up the streets at the same time. Think about it." she smirks, clearly having thought this through. "...okay but....it's still not morally conscionable..." he trails off as the minotaur approaches him, squatting down before him. "Neither was my dad killing my weak-bodied mother so he could remarry into a more profitable marriage. He was all about numbers, moving things around, and getting ahead in life. You're right, getting ahead in life shouldn't be done at the expense of innocents. And it won't be. We'll be leeching off the lowlifes that already leech-and turning the tables on them in the process. I did my times, engaging in crime on the streets. I have a chance to do some good now, and I've been trying-but knowing how to beat demons up only goes so far in helping the world-I've got other skills outside of what Amdappour taught me, and if you don't want them that's fine. I'm doing it anyway. Now do you want the damn money or not?" she growls at him. "...I...I don't...tch damn it woman. Fine! Fine do it. But please do not get us in trouble." "Oho, what, you think I suck? The people that caught me last time were ninjas. Now I'm a ninja. Who can catch me now?" she smirks confidently. Trish thinks about that one for a moment before asserting, "Ninja pirates." he's got her there. "....well. Can't argue with that." she shrugs. She must therefore become a ninja pirate. Where's the damn rum?