ALRIGHT KIDDOS SIT RIGHT DOWN MOMMA ABBY BOUTTA LEARN YA SOMMATJust kidding, this is for adults only.What? I'm a college student and a teacher, double the reasons that the only good thing I know how to make is BOOZE.Aight so for this summer nights recipe, I'm going to teach you to make an ancient brew that is revered by the Slavs as...something.Not really. It's Kvass, a slavic bread cocktail. Sound gross? According to my friends it is.I like it.Anyhow, it's super simple to make. I'm not going to tell you the exact quantities because 1) I learned it from my friend Boris 2) You kids already get up to enough trouble with your vapes.All you need to know is...1) Acquire a CLEAN hermetically sealed jar because this is a fermented brew and you don't want bacteria getting in. This kills the Abby.
2) Boil some water in a pot, and to this, add some rabbit poop, as well as some bread-I mean toast. And when I say toast, I mean burnt toast. I mean, you accidentally-on-purpose crank that shit up to max and let it burn, until it smells like a fire is starting. Also it needs to be black bread. Toss the CLEAN (no bacteria) raisins and bread into the boiling bread, remove it from heat, let it sit for a few hours.
3) After a few hours you'll have some hobo-looking soup made-or possible the nastiest tea you've ever seen. Won't smell great either. That's fine. Just strain all the solids, put that stuff into the jar, add the YEEast so it can start fermenting...and you're done. You can let it sit as long as you want to ferment-least is about 3 days for a light beer level-I've done three weeks before and I woke up on top of a food truck in new zealand surrounded by a flock of warrior sheep and saw headlines about an attempted coup.
Remember that this drink is best enjoyed home alone on a weekend while sobbing as you remember you have no good friend to share you slavic bread brew with.
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