Spackle's OC Rating Thread

Starlit Spackle

February 16, 2019

#59

NAME

FireBlitz

SEX

Female

SPECIES

Pony - Pegasus

BODY COLOUR

#FF8040

MANE COLOUR

#FF0000 and #D60000

EYE COLOUR

#f9e354

Finally someone who speaks in hex code.

Other than the stripper hair and the mid 00’s preteen choker this is OK. Though I do question the dominance of the red. Usually you’d want to contrast your colours so from far away you don’t look like a giant orange blob but meh.

FOALHOOD

Grew up with a regular family with two siblings up until her teen years when she witnessed her parents divorce. From that point on, she lived with her mother after she won the custody battle for the foals, the house, and alimony from the father as he was a doctor at the local hospital. Only foalhood stress she dealt with was her mother's projections of stress onto her and her siblings.

Oh look at that, a teenager going through their parents divorce. Nobody else experienced this so it’ll be an exciting new thing to talk and learn about through your character!

Also the fuck you doing picking the word witness. She was obviously involved in a custody battle. Especially if they’re teenagers they don’t just ‘witness’ the process. Witness implies that they had no investment whether emotionally or physically in the process. They just bear witness to it. That’s weak. This is weak. Do better.

and alimony from the father as he was a doctor

Oh wow look a hard working man getting his hard earned money that he spent hundreds of 24 hour shifts working all the time to earn gets taken away. The divorce system is not unfair at all.

she lived with her mother after she won the custody battle for the foals,

NOT UNFAIR AT ALL

CUTIE MARK

Winged heart with fire coming from the bottom.

Tropy and boring. Oh a heart with wings. How creative. Haven’t seen that anywhere else before. Definitely not in this thread either.

We’ll see if this cutie mark has any symbolism relevant to it

CUTIE MARK STORY

FB earned her cutie mark talking to other ponies in her school as a teenager. She got her cutie mark after she helped her friend recover emotionally from a break up.

And look at that, it doesn’t. Wow. Great job. It is seriously impressive that you were able to make a character’s defining moment this stupid. I guess I should have expected this from a character who wears a choker unironically.

PERSONALITY

Short-tempered and impatient as of later times. This mare has a lot of patience when it comes to manipulating social situations and people's minds, but has grown annoyed with most things in society itself aside from the few she's taken interest in. While initially even distrusting of others and even adopting a sometimes holier than thou attitude, she is very receptive and understanding of emotional situations and stresses.

A character who is short tempered an impatient wears a choker unironically. Ok, I think I should stop mentioning the choker so much. I might look like I’m putting less effort into this review than they put into this character.

This mare has a lot of patience when it comes to manipulating social situations and people's minds,[quote]

You know, the show is called “Friendship is Magic”, not “Friendship is a method to manipulate others’ emotions to gain things of value”. Holy fuck people. If so many of you view human compassion and relationships like this no wonder you spend all your free time on some dumb brony imageboard.

[quote]While initially even distrusting of others and even adopting a sometimes holier than thou attitude, she is very receptive and understanding of emotional situations and stresses.

Here we go again with the “Is X but also can be Y”. You motherfuckers need to learn what opposites are and stop juxtaposing them. If you are X then be X. If you are Y then be Y. When you end up inevitably breaking character due to extreme circumstance in either your backstory or in RP it will be important to your character and/or give people further insight into who your character is. Otherwise you’re just an egotistical socially inept teenager who wears chokers unironically.

Ok I said that I was going to stop with the choker thing. I lied. It’s just such low hanging fruit I can’t resist.

LIKES

Normal introverted activities, different recipes of Ramen noodles (more specifically beef ramen noodles), getting paid money and surviving is good too. She is not one for having hobbies aside from dealing with other individuals.

Protip: Introverted does not mean that you dislike social activity. It means that social activity requires energy to participate in. If someone is introverted, then they are tired after a long day of being social. Whereas, an extrovert gains energy from interacting socially, and will feel tired or down if they go long periods of time without talking with someone. An introverted person can be just as social as an extroverted person, they just deal with energy dynamics differently.

getting paid money and surviving is good too

Sensational! Might they, perhaps, also appreciate not getting kicked in the head by a steel toed boot?

No shit they like getting paid and surviving. This section is not for telling the reader what they already know. This is about telling the reader what they don’t know about the character. Why would you waste time and space defining something so basic?

She is not one for having hobbies aside from dealing with other individuals.

DISLIKES

Rich ponies, ponies who will not help themselves, psychopharmacological medications, anyone that lacks communication skills, shy ponies, Brazilian wandering spiders and tarantulas, useless answers, loans and interest.

I want to take a poll on how many of these dislikes will never be brought up again in the detailed history section, are put in there haphazardly, and have no impact on the character in any way/shape/form.

useless answers

For the first time, I am relating to this character.

SKILLS

She has grown very skilled with helping her local community with selectively burning patches of grass and things among trees to help with the wildlife service when she is stressed from her booth.

There is nothing of value in here. Says something a little bit about the character, eh?

DETAILED HISTORY

(Excluding foalhood section)

FireBlitz started to provide comfort for her friends that she went to school with and took a basic interest in psychology and sociology. She grew interested for what were originally good intentions, helping other ponies out and providing comfort after going through stressful times.

She went to the local Hooferville Community College to work on getting a degree in the field of psychology after her school teacher recommended it saying there were many job openings in the field. Determined to get out somewhere on her own, she worked hard and received a recommendation to Canterlot's University of Medical Academia. While she was initially ecstatic to get out from under her mom's roof, these plans fell flat as soon as she graduated and her college fund no longer covered the costs of living.

When FireBlitz went into the job field, seeking employment with her degree, it had already become overly saturated. There were no available positions to hire her anywhere and a general distrust of new and upcoming therapists over the older ones.

FireBlitz opened her love advice booth in Canterlot's tourist trap marketplace, making her life off of whatever tips she can get from anyone who passes her booth. She only earns enough bits to cover the rental of the dorm she can not afford to move out of despite having 5 roommates, feed herself and her pet ball python, rental of the booth, and occasionally payments on the loan she took out for her college education.

FireBlitz started to provide comfort for her friends that she went to school with and took a basic interest in psychology and sociology

Because nothing inspires sociology such as an act like… acting like a normal human being towards someone you enjoy the company of? What the fuck.

She grew interested for what were originally good intentions, helping other ponies out and providing comfort after going through stressful times.

foreshadow (fôr-shădˈō, fōr-)

To present an indication or a suggestion of beforehand;

This is an example of foreshadowing, where the author is showing the drop in my interest in this character before it actually happens.

She went to the local Hooferville Community College to work on getting a degree in the field of psychology

Probably a B.A. in Psychology.

after her school teacher recommended it saying there were many job openings in the field.

Of which none you’ll be able to get with a liberal arts degree.

these plans fell flat as soon as she graduated and her college fund no longer covered the costs of living.

An example of using bad financial planning as a method of moving the plot forward. Also an example of a stupid character not realising that school’s expensive and saving for both a bachelor’s and masters right off the gate without loans is not possible for the 99%.

When FireBlitz went into the job field, seeking employment with her degree,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thanks for putting in a joke that only university students will understand.

There were no available positions to hire her anywhere and a general distrust of new and upcoming therapists over the older ones.

Couldn't’t be further from the truth. They want new staff because they’re significantly cheaper than actually good staff. This is why doctors and nurses usually don’t stay in hospital rosters for very long and end up going private practice. $$$

FireBlitz opened her love advice booth in Canterlot's tourist trap marketplace, making her life off of whatever tips she can get from anyone who passes her booth.

Love Advice! Now 10% more effective than confiding in any random teenager!

She only earns enough bits to cover the rental of the dorm she can not afford to move out of despite having 5 roommates, feed herself and her pet ball python, rental of the booth, and occasionally payments on the loan she took out for her college education.

Another joke that only university students will understand. A shop making enough money to pay student loans? Pffffft.

So lets take a look at this from front to back, right? We’ve learned next to nothing about how any of these events actually shaped the character, why she did any of it, or really what the consequences of these were. You’re treating your character like you’re writing an encyclopedia. That’s stupid. Characters need to be written emotionally. You need to tell us why they make decisions, what motivates them, all that shit. You say that they like manipulating people? How? Why? You say they give love advice? Really? Is it good? Is it false, are they just pulling people’s legs just to get at them? Do they do it from a broken heart or the fact that they’ve never had a relationship before and want to live by second hand romance?

For as many words as you put down, you told me nothing I want to know about your character.

Physical Attributes: 3

Psychological Attributes: 2

Historical Attributes: 1

Unity: 1

No extra points.

Total: 7

Verdict: Requires immediate incineration

TLDR: Someone with no emotional intelligence whatsoever critiques other people on their emotional intelligence.