OC Threads

<p>>be me</p> <p>>see new forum</p> <p>>reads it all</p> <p>>thinks back to when 4chan was a thing</p> <p>>makes this post the epitimy of reddit</p>

Bible Is the holly book, the book which have the knowledge of the whole world. The book is the downloaded copy which is available in the online market. The https://assignmentman.co.uk/ explain the every context which is describes in the bible in an elaborate way.

<p>List of oc's:</p> <p>Yoshim<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1190/img_1523/userid_274/<br /> Male Earth pony</p> <p>Lucius<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1194/img_3447/userid_274/<br /> Male Lucretiar (dragon subspecies not made by me)</p> <p>Ralph<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1205/img_2954/userid_274/<br /> Male Diamond Dog</p> <p>Mark<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1217/img_2373/userid_274/<br /> Male Unicorn</p> <p>Rouge<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1210/img_3054/userid_274/<br /> Male Changeling</p> <p>Torpid<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1219/img_1412/userid_274/<br /> Male Unicorn</p> <p>Max<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1221/img_0005/userid_274/<br /> Male Changeling</p> <p>Summer Breeze<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1224/img_3378/userid_274/<br /> Female Pegasus</p>

LOL. Submit as many as you want. Holy shit, this site has me in stitches.

I did have a giggle about it. After the 7th or 8th time giggling it just becomes a chore.

Fucking immigrants. Jesus christ and I thought my OC was boring. Literally only one colour on this entire character. What part of ‘Pastel Coloured Ponies’ do you not understand? Fuck, grey is the worst colour to pick for an OC. . Apology rejected. I’ll accept an apology if what you wrote is shit. One sin for being the baby born. I thought you said that your parents were nerds, not actively working to sabotage their children’s social life. Fuck if anyone tried to list that as one of their skills they’d get beaten up so quickly. Obviously you haven’t heard the absolute linguistic gymnastics that someone can accomplish when they’re high off their ass on meth during a police traffic stop. And it couldn’t have come fucking sooner. Imagine your primary character trait being confusing the literal fuck out of people on a daily basis. Just like parents naming their children with absolutely stupid ghetto names like LaQuisha or DaQuan. You can tell when someone hasn’t been a parent yet when they say ‘favourite’ instead of ‘least hated’. I bet that his mum’s going to be a narcissist and he’s going to be the golden child. OK I was half right. But seriously, too predictable. Also if you’re going to use a clinical term like narcissist, you should actually know what it means in a clinical context. Being mean to him consistently is not narcissism. That’s just being a dick. Using a clinical term incorrectly just makes you look like an idiot. And since most people are not health care providers - just save yourself the trouble and don’t use clinical terms. Why? There’s no logic here. Also you’re using the word bigot incorrectly here. See, this is why you need to beat up nerds in school. Because they end up ruminating on issues that they are not old enough to fully understand, and end up becoming pretentious fucks that don’t shut up about how libertarianism is the optimal way to shape a nation. It’s incorrect, annoying, and absolutely useless when it comes out of the mouth of a naive teenager. Nothing about the last few sentences is logical in any way. It’s actually quite vexing. See, this is why nerds can’t be allowed to procreate. They just set their children up for failure. They cannot instill the proper social competence into their offspring and the only people that end up suffering are the children. They think that there’s something wrong with them, which I guess is half correct. But the other half is that their parents are absentee fuckwits who forgot that the key to survival is social interaction not being able to speak pig latin. The latter is just a fun party trick when the guy with the guitar got sick of playing nothing but Wonderwall for 2 hours. Yeah, no kidding. Being conservative in a city is fucking terrible. Wait hold on. None of his trains of thought are actual science. They are on supposedly scientific subjects, but what your character is thinking about is just stupid tween straight to DVD movie plot shit. So he’s just like everyone else? I love people who parade their so called ‘ability’ to mask their true emotions to protect themselves. It’s not a special ability. It’s not a character trait. Everyone does this, nobody is genuine. Stop flaunting like you’re some sort of special snowflake breaking the mould. Go do some reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego CUTIE MARK I like how you spent literally 7 paragraphs describing how your character was special and different from anyone else and the only tangible method to differentiate your character doesn’t exist. This is irony. CUTIE MARK STORY The list of theories doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help to illustrate the point. Just cut it down to “He had an extensive list of endless possibilities and probabilities, somehow being able to add more to the mix as time went by. Each new theory was markably more elaborate and improbable than their predecessors, as he continued to find reason and justification for his incarceration.” Specific details make for poor character building. I don’t give a flying fuck about the what, I want the why. The above illustrates how he feels about his current situation using implied imagery and metaphor. Write your character’s actions in their emotions, not in their inner monologue. PERSONALITY NO. He does NOT know how to read people. If he knew how to read people half of his backstory wouldn’t exist. His literal primary character trait is that he is lonely and isolated. If he knew how to read people, he wouldn’t be isolated. He’d be socially competent and be able to navigate social interaction with no challenge. Don’t you fucking spend 7 paragraphs whining to me that you’re so misunderstood and isolated then come at me with this shit. This is fucking offensive. What’s even more offensive is his shitty holier than thou attitude. Like fuck this is why people that call themselves ‘nerds’ are so fucking insufferable. Life is not an opportunity to show people how right you are. Neither is it a playground to put your oh so precious ‘gift’ to good use, praying on people who just want to have a fucking conversation without having to deal with subliminal malicious bullshit. People like this always think they have the moral high ground but they’re really just so socially inept that they subject themselves to the Dunning-Kruger effect and they are too myopic to understand. If they had any sliver of capability for self reflection they’d be cured of their ‘gift’ overnight. Smart people do not think they’re smart. Smart people only know how dumb they really are. All you are doing here is establishing that you yourself are the furthest thing from an academic, and are an active contributer to the fucking politics that is causing the Replication Crisis. LIKES Fuck off blank flank. You’ve still got a while to go before you join the real world. DISLIKES Also, fuck you and listing a bunch of shit without actually explaining it. SKILLS All of the applications for his knowledge are hypothetical. It being not hypothetical requires him to possess some sort of practical knowledge to begin with. DETAILED HISTORY This is explicitly contrary to what’s written in the Foalhood section. If this represents a change, you did not give it the due significance, as this would be a significant shift from the paranoid isolated pretentious little shit you’ve been describing so far. Irony. The wonderful thing about having opposing opinions on fundamental topics is that they become absolutely mutually exclusive, and a ‘club’ like this would never be able to be maintained long-term. Because eventually everyone in the group would homogenize to the single most efficient method for anything. Especially given that they are at least somewhat open minded. You’d think the isolationist making a best friend for the first time in his entire life would have received more than just a single sentence at the end of a paragraph. What the actual fuck? He went from being an isolationist paranoid prick to a social butterfly and now he’s apparently needing to adjust from who he was fundamentally in the first place? Holy shit can you please be consistent with your character, please? Haha get fucked. This would never happen and is so absolutely unbelievable that it torpedoes any remaining integrity of your character. See this is a very common issue with a lot of characters. That they are just given the solution to their problems simply for existing. You are making it easy for your character to accomplish their goals - mostly likely from characters commonly being self inserts. You want to imagine yourself as intelligent, witty, and to have purpose or be relied upon. However you only get to own these traits if you actually fucking work for it. Nothing in any of those paragraphs described his work ethic or his dedication to the project - but he’s just given a waive to all future tuition? Your character didn’t earn that at all. They simply existed. They were given their success. And they are worse off for it. People want characters to go through hardship, and obtain success or victory or whatever other positive thought as a consequence of their dedication. That’s the whole point of every single basic story type. Hero’s Journey, Rags to Riches, Man vs. Whatever. All of that is characters facing adversity and overcoming it through any number of ways. If you are going to write your character like they overcame adversity because they got given a position on a project then were fired, your character is basically the wet napkin of storytelling. Physical Attributes: 2 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 No extra points. Total: 5 Verdict: Requires immediate incineration That 2 on physical attributes is a consolation prize. Originally I wanted to give you the lowest possible score. Congratulations. Let this be motivation for you to write something that isn’t shit. TLDR: Superiority Complex: The Character

Yeah I remember my normal childhood where my father was killed by the mob. It happens to everyone. Yep. Significant trauma due to the death - not to mention that you’ve now lost your primary male role model, and will suffer significantly in your adulthood because of it. Yeah. NORMAL, YOU KNOW? On a slightly related note, fuck every single OC on this website who have dead parents. MLP doesn’t have explicitly stated death. Make your parent go missing because of a crime case, or something. At least when you don’t have closure on significant events in your character’s past - it gives your character something to motivate them in RP. “Hey Ryan-shit, where’s your dad?” “My dad’s dead.” Vs. “Hey Ryan-shit, where’s your dad?” “I don’t know. He disappeared during one of his cases and nobody’s seen him since. I’ve dedicated my adult life to finding him and tracking down whoever kidnapped him.” You tell me which is more compelling of a character. CUTIE MARK I before E except after C. Also, since I don’t have an image for this so I can judge for myself - but IMHO all MLP styled objects should try to not have explicit black outlines. All the outlines for objects and characters are all coloured, not black. CUTIE MARK STORY That’s really pathetic. Actually it’s pathetic in two separate ways. The first, because your character is an utter idiot and needs to mind his own damn business, and two because you put the absolute minimum amount of effort into this, and I feel robbed of the time I could have spent doing something more constructive than telling you what you already know - this character is boring, uncreative, and unimaginative. There are way way way WAY better and more interesting ways to try and put across that your character wants to protect and help others. This is literally the most cliche, stupid, overused plotline to convey that to the reader. PERSONALITY Oh wow, great personality. You’re EXACTLY LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE FUCKING PLANET. Seriously, I don’t get it with these people who think that “I’m pretty quiet, but I am very talkative when you get to know me.” Well no shit. Everyone’s like that. If you don’t know someone that well, you’re not going to stick Wonka nerds in your nose then sneeze them out like a fucking carebear shotgun. What the fuck do you mean by gritty? What the fuck do you mean by outside? Do you mean that you try to put on a tough outward appearance to hide your vulnerabilities? If so - fuck off, that’s not a personality trait. That’s called being insecure. Being insecure is the personality trait. Insecure people try to hide their true selves in favour of a construct that they believe is more desirable. Which, if you think of it that way, then all you’re doing is shooting yourself in the foot and preventing yourself from making meaningful connections with like-minded people. Be yourself, just don’t be autistic about it. If you have no idea what I mean by ‘just don’t be autistic about it’... then oooooooh boy. So what your personality boils down to is, “THIS CHARACTER IS INSECURE”, which is completely in line with the rest of the submission. LIKES Why do I get the feeling like you’re actually underage, and put beer in there just so you can feel that your character has depth. Which it doesn’t. It’s actually as shallow as my taste in women. Which both starts and ends at, “They look like boys, only feminine.” Also beer, while an adequate way to bond with people over a game of football in the pub, is not a like that you want to put on your fucking character sheet. DISLIKES Nobody likes gangbangers. Gangbangers don’t even like gangbangers. This is a stupid dislike. You’re also a monster because jaywalking is nothing less than the expression of one’s ability to cross wherever the FUCK they want without being told what to do. SKILLS Marksman? Really? We’re bringing guns into this now. *sigh* I don’t have a meaningful response that I have not presented already. I’d also like to point out that Criminal Profiling covers a very vast array of skills. Are you good at physical, psychological, linkage analysis? If you say all of them I’m going to assume that this is a troll because that’s possibly just as if not more stupid than the entirety of the last character I reviewed in this thread. DETAILED HISTORY Wow. Don’t worry, you’ve successfully bored me with the lack of details. I am going to highlight this again, because this is the second time I’ve been told that the DEATH OF HIS IMMEDIATE BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS NOT SIGNIFICANT. Ugh. Wow. That’s really pathetic preaching. Pathetic because it literally does not make logical sense, and also because saying the character’s father was ‘fair’ is an absolute lie. Justice is given in one of two forms: Punishment, or rehabilitation. Punishment is inherently unfair, because there is no way to determine absolute quantity of loss in order to determine what is reasonable punishment. People who do not truly understand justice systems parrot the kind of bullshit that your character’s dad does. There’s no such thing as ‘fair’, in punishment based justice. There is only judgement. Which is part of the reason why the US has a punishment based prison system; because illogical decisions are hereditary on that continent apparently, and they don’t want to stop crime - just make money off it. Also if you change the context of the person saying that exact phrase from a municipal justice to a gang lieutenant - it becomes very clear just how much of a gang the government really is. Likely unintended lethal weapon reference. In Lethal Weapon it gave significance to the character. In this, it makes me want to kill myself. Do people honestly still do comparative grading, or is this just a trope that people don’t ever want to let go of? It’s a shit trope, and your character suffers for its inclusion. I see that he served in the Midtown precinct. Smart people with STEM degrees get jobs in investigation, not violence happy beat cops who did a few years in the police airsoft cosplay team. Physical Attributes: 3 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 If you put any effort into your character, it might be ok. But you didn’t. Total: 6 Verdict: Requires immediate incineration. TLDR; Self insert OC fantasizes of an alternate universe where they’re not a boring dull piece of shit. Commas is not cruise control for sentence structure. They’re used to separate two independent clauses. Which is a smart person way of saying two complete ideas. Using them incorrectly just makes you write like William Shatner speaks. Writing too much is always better than not writing enough. Beating an idea or concept into the ground at least still puts the point across. Being verbose doesn’t automatically make whatever you wrote good - so just don’t be a dipshit.

You're amusing. There's a species choice called, "Other" - if you'd like to have a shot at changing my mind on Alicorn OCs. I promise complete impartiality.

Stop being poor and get some art of your OC. I always head-canoned Earth Pony to be the dominant gene, but whatever. Gotta keep that bloodline clean! This entire section is simultaneously too specific, and annoyingly vague at the same time. “She doesn’t even remember her name”. Speaking so matter of factly is very offputting in this kind of scenario. Remember that you’re defining your character and what’s important to mention during their development into an adult. Is it significant to know that they don’t remember their first childhood friend’s name? No, not really. So remove it. It serves no purpose. This entire section has to be rewritten to be less shit, and have more effort put into it. CUTIE MARK Oh hey look someone found the clipart section of MS Word. What a joke. Not to mention that the background for the cutie mark is different than your OC’s coat colour, it’s blocky, boring, and fucking gray. Nothing in the MLP artstyle is blocky. Even the things that are square like the buildings and whatever have slight slants and bends in them to keep them casual and artsy. Don’t be boring. CUTIE MARK STORY Again, with the lack of effort. If you actually are interested in creating a balanced and interesting character you need to put more than 4 sentences of effort into it. I’m going to finish this review simply because I already read ahead and know what’s coming and I wanna make fun of you for making bad decisions. PERSONALITY I love it when people who aren’t leaders try to describe leaders. They always, always get it wrong. Having a calm temperament is a prerequisite to being a leader. Otherwise you end up being impulsive, which will break the trust your subordinates have with you. I hate this trope. “This character is X but can also be Y.”. You know what that is? That’s called a characterization contradiction. When you contradict what you say about a character immediately after, your character is stuck in a purgatory of shittiness that it will never escape. Pick what your character is like, and run with it. When you have a character that’s calm, you want to keep that going. You want them to follow their character as close as you can for as long as you can. Do you know why? Because when you are inevitably forced to break character because of something happening - it has that much more impact. Think of Fluttershy, as an example. She does not break character often. She is always silent, shy, and obedient. When she breaks out of this, it’s because of something significant. And because it’s significant, it gives that much more impact when the character is forced to make that choice. So basically what I’m saying, is stop being shit. Remove this. Being calm, but able to lay down the law is not passive aggressive. Learn the meaning of phrases before you use them. [quote] She rarely cries. [quote] This is not significant to the character. Remove it. Well then, have fun RP’ing an OC that doesn’t want to interact with people. Come back when you make better decisions. LIKES Disjointed likes. Orange juice? Really. You’re going to profess your love for orange juice in a character sheet? Give me a break. DISLIKES And that’s all I have to say on that subject. And this character sheet is going into the garbage where it belongs… for reasons. Seriously if you’re not going to justify what you say about your character, then whatever you say is useless and worthless. SKILLS You remember that time when you had to break up the creativity with your project? Well neither do I, because that doesn’t make sense. Learn how to grammar. DETAILED HISTORY I like how you looked at ‘Detailed History’ and decided that this was sufficient. Seriously, half of this history is, “This character did things that we assume that characters do anyways” with unnecessary details that I don’t give a shit about. Your history is supposed to show why your character is the way they are in the present day - not to write the chronicle of the character. The chronicle is supposed to be on your hard drive, not mine. What happened here? Who’s Aster? Why did they leave your character in the dust? This sounds like it could be potentially interesting (actually, it doesn’t. It sounds like petty personal drama.) but at least it’s more interesting than everything else you apparently thought was reasonable to write here. You said it, not me. So every single time I wrote something out to respond to how absolutely backwards this sentence is, it never sufficiently put across just how infuriated I am with this. Do you not know what the difference is between a biography and autobiography? Because I don’t think you do. What the fuck even is this sentence. Soon after she was commissioned to write a story called, ‘This OC’ - a comedy. See, this section is where you can tell us the troubles that your character had in making these movies. What challenges she needed to face, what personality flaws gave her problems during the projects, all that good shit. Instead you give us cut and dry “she did this thing.” Everyone knows that saying, “I went to do this for a couple years” is not a proper summary of what happened during those times. Sure, I went to school for 3 years for emergency medicine. I could leave it at that, or talk about the events that happened during those 3 years that shaped me into what I am today. The 6 failed boyfriends who turned me into the salty angry bitch who likes seeing other people cry. Physical Attributes: 2 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 Total: 5 Verdict 4-8: Requires immediate incineration TLDR; A character who believes that doing the same things everyone else does makes them special fails to amount to anything interesting and makes the reviewer reconsider that time where they chose not to overdose on smack in a Halifax crackhouse.

I don't omit alicorns based on any critera other than they're guaranteed garbage.

Ah, when the naming strategy of mid 30s lower class women and late teenage males collide. We have Misty spelled incorrectly to try and be unique, and a butchering of Symphony and Horny. I wonder how much cheetah print I will be exposed to in this entry. OK if your ears are always down then you are just spending your entire life with the equine equivalent of resting bitch face. Only instead of looking bitchy you just look like you’re scared of everything, likely including your own shadow. How the hell can anyone take you seriously with that. . This might expose me as the boomer I am but this hits too close to home. This is the exact OPPOSITE OF JUST FOR SHOW. This is important shit right here. This is interesting! This is unique! We haven’t gotten past your background and you already have more potential than most of the OCs that pass through this door have. Please expand upon this, I wanna know the who what when wheres and whys about this marking. I wanna know what your character feels about the marks. I get that you say they are just for show, is that what your character thinks? Does your character wear it like fashion unaware of the deeper implications of what it actually means? There’s so much potential here I don’t want it to be squandered. Here’s a sentence telling you to watch Firefly if you haven’t already. I would like the character sheet for this absolute chad submitted here. I wanna know how he manages to grant anything someone wants, or is he just a really good con artist? Hmmmm But really this is weak and lacks any specific detail. Needs to be expanded. CUTIE MARK I’d hope not since there’s nothing in the backstory that tells me anything remotely close to being involved with swords. CUTIE MARK STORY Wait wait wait hold on here for a second. You’re trying to tell me that you ran away from home with very little food, went out into the middle of nowhere to practice HEMA by yourself, and at the end the only thing you learned was called thrusts while not being an idiot and that’s what gave you your cutie mark? What the hell about that is character defining? Is it the poor planning, poor execution, or the abysmal idea of being able to train yourself in using a sword when you don’t have the damndest clue on how to thrust in the first place? What the actual fuck is this supposed to represent for you? To me, it sounds like your cutie mark represents your willingness to stab yourself in the back for no reason and somehow still come out the other side alive. This is weak. Nothing says cutie mark like casually admitting to murder after being in the bush. PERSONALITY Oh look, a personality that’s almost identical to mine. LIKES I see that your character is more interested in being perceived as cool rather than actually being cool. The obsessive training is more a front to be able to wrap a good story about how much effort that you put into your life while simultaneously not actually achieving all that much, isn’t it? DISLIKES Who the fuck doesn’t like eating. I can take surviving in the bush for 20 days without any survival training while supposedly training your HEMA techniques with no food and getting your cutie mark but disliking EATING!? That’s way too unrealistic. SKILLS Don’t have much to say here. Wanna be small and fast? Sure, no problem. Wanna be mediocre and not want to take advantage of one of the most important sections to lay out what makes your character interesting and worth taking the time out of my day to look it over? Sure, whatever. DETAILED HISTORY I love it when people do my job for me. Way to already acknowledge your flaws and laziness before stepping through the door. Can’t wait to see proof that this exists. God probably has more evidence to His existence than your character does to being interesting. This is the only thing I like about your character. I’d rather you show this through her actions or reactions rather than just telling me that she is X. Something something show don’t tell. Physical Attributes: 4 Psychological Attributes: 2 Historical Attributes: 2 Unity: 1 No extra points. Total: 9 Verdict:Needs an overhaul, but some fundamental details can be recycled Looks good superficially but as soon as you go looking for any details or substance it turns into something more hollow than a cheap chocolate easter bunny. Supposedly you’ve spent a significant amount of time RP’ing with this character and you still can’t manage to regurgitate whatever forum vomit you participated in on this sheet? I wish I could take points away just to tell you to change your attitude and put more effort into your character than your character is putting into their life. Fucks sake.

Reasonable colours. Honestly can’t say much more than that because this art shows no detail whatsoever. Finally, a decent story. I both love and hate this on a fundamental level. Breaking free from one’s past is a trope that is used commonly when creating characters. I feel that it will serve your character well if you invest time into determining your character’s motivations and the chain of events that led up to them wanting to be something more than what they were given. Any given person can be intelligent if they invest the time to learn. Why did your character decide to take advantage of this? Just don’t make it stupid. I don’t understand this detail, because you’ve taken a character that was already above average as you mentioned before, and have simply said, “The character then did what they have always been doing… but BETTER!”. That’s weak. Rephrase this and change the tone and connotation that comes with it. There’s a better way to do this detail somewhere. So far all I’m hearing from this story is that your character hit their head and then instantly grew a superiority complex. To be clear - this is better than most. At least you didn’t start out with a superiority complex. HOLY SHIT DID A CHARACTER GET SUBMITTED TO MY THREAD THAT ACTUALLY SHOWS CHARACTER GROWTH OVER TIME!? Yeah, I’m surprised too. I didn’t know that CA had this many collective brain cells to rub together. I love these fantasies of kids running away with a handfull of cash and think that it’s enough to survive for enough time to get somewhere significant. Police pick up kids who run away from home so often right when they run out of money because they don’t actually know how expensive buying enough food to survive is. They also tend to eat too much because they’re not used to being hungry. It’s so dumb. But, your character’s going to succeed because fuck logic. Also I’d like to mention that the last thing you had to say about your parents was, “she was as gifted as her parents had always told her” Because nothing says neglect, like her parents attempting to instill confidence in their offspring. This is the only conclusion that I can come to, because the only other thing you’ve said about your parents is that they’re dumb hicks. You haven’t shown me anything else beyond that. So basically fuck you, you ungrateful prick. You’re the kind of child that parents have nightmares about. CUTIE MARK No image, so not really anything to mention here. CUTIE MARK STORY I would love to get some more detail on this. Having the cutie mark appear as soon as you’ve crossed a rubicon is a great way to bring it across. However, there’s so much more that you can do with this part of your character’s life. It is their rite of passage into adulthood, and the event that will quite literally define the rest of your character’s life. Put some effort into it. You wrote like 4 paragraphs for all the other parts of this submission, so why is there no detail here? PERSONALITY I don’t know when your character changed their name from Dusty to Cambia. You probably should explain that. Ah. Character with a psychological diagnosis to explain secondary personality traits. We meet again. You dirty little bitch. Like I have mentioned before, only use the clinical term if you’re going to be clinical. Say it as it is, your character does not empathise well with others, and can be selfish. Here’s something I’d like to get cleared up. Your character disowned their friends in exchange for the curiosity that embedded itself in the character’s mind. Because why? Because their friends did not appreciate the inherent beauty of an onyx piece of shit you found in the mine? Why is this such a significant source of motivation to your character, even years down the line? At this point you could handwavium it away, and let the significance of the object be rooted in its symbolism of the moment that your character broke out of their shackles. This however is not entirely made clear through your explanation. LIKES It was literally left blank. This sounds exactly like you. DISLIKES This however, does not. SKILLS Honestly don’t have much to say about this. Good shit. DETAILED HISTORY I would change that to ‘She was exactly what Canterlot already had an abundance of.’ I wanna know what she said to force these people to so quickly backpedal. It’s going to be dumb whether I know or not, but I wanna satiate my curiosity. What? You didn’t have enough money for school in a big city from the savings you stole from your parents who earned an honest labourer’s wage for all their lives? I am shocked. SHOCKED! No, she faced years of entry-level labour until she could prove that she was destined for greater things, and overcame this obstacle through the same kind of dedication and hard work she showed when she was young. Or she can just get it through the inevitable ex machina that’s going to show itself in the next few sentences. Fucking called it. Because fuck hard work and dedication, just whine your way to the top! Then she dropped out a few days later because she was unable to keep herself alive as she had no money left. GG you got swindled. If it had no similarities, then how did the people who lead the society see value in the object? It was not similar to anything they’ve seen before, therefore they could not reasonably determine its value. For all they know she carved it herself. Ah yes, that estimated date and origin of an object that could not be directly compared to any other findings - and the most data they have on it is that “this pony said they found it here.” Also I’m not allowing you to handwave the date away with carbon dating. Ponies use magic. Which has somehow only been determined now, because objects that would be easily retrieved from above the surface in a mine would definitely not have been discovered before this point. Her classmate’s mary sue radars are on point, then. Only three? That’s enough to ruin her reputation? She must have been a real cunt to get on the nerves of that many people. Probably not unwarranted. This is completely unrealistic. No man would accept that they’re wrong. Nothing says love more than telling me I’m right. Insinuating that Academic society is not inherently a gutter? So apart from this mystery benefactor funding an expedition based on the incoherant ramblings of a disgraced archaeologist, he sends his son along with the delusional hic and her yes-man boyfriend to scour the site for the remnants of a dead civilization. This reads like the most mediocre B-movie ever. IT WAS THE PATTERNS SHE WAS SEEING DUE TO THE EXHAUSTION OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION THAT YOU HIT AT ABOUT 55 CONSECUTIVE HOURS OF NO SLEEP. Seriously kids, always remember to sleep. Shit goes nutty if you go too long. I love the embedded racism/classism in here. That’s called a health and safety violation causing death, and the site would either be closed pending insane litigation from the society as well as the worker’s family, or she’d just get arrested. But I know this detail is going to be completely forgotten and the character’s not going to suffer any consequences for their actions because, why would they? This makes me laugh, because a cave in killed someone already, and yet she takes the son of the benefactor of her dig in with her. Evidently she did not think of the consequences of his death or injury. Site closed. Finances locked. Possible arrest for incompetence. Convenient for him to arrive in the nick of time, considering he wasn’t on the breaching expedition. Which indirectly saved the lives of many who were going to be abused, worked to the bone, and likely killed by her incapability to lead a team. Now are you talking about the money that she kept to survive after she got her scholarship, or the money she had left after she spent all of it to do this expedition? This character has a talent for finding money when they need it. I want that superpower. Do not blame him in the slightest. Except for her amazing money-finding abilities, that’s a bomb that goes off at least twice a day. Ain’t nobody got time to console the inconsolable. And this my friend, is how cults start. Followers of an ideology, who believe that the only way they can gain knowledge is through the power of a single other being, and are asked to make financial donations in exchange for this knowledge. I want this to happen now. Make Cambia start her own cult and use their fanaticism to do illegal digs. Physical Attributes: 3 Psychological Attributes: 3 Historical Attributes: 4 Unity: 4 No extra points this day, as nothing about this character particularly stands out. Total: 14 Verdict: 13-17: Good details, needs some help around the edges TLDR; A completely normal teenager pulls a Pick of Destiny to try and find the plot to the last Indiana Jones Movie. Fails. Loses everything. Becomes a hermit. Hopefully founds a cult so they can take out their anger against their perceived persecution by the world and lead a holy war against nerds. Something that you find significant, is probably not significant to someone else. You need to look for things that your characters will find significant in order to craft an impactful story. Your readers cannot read your mind, but with your help they can read your character’s. Give your characters something to latch on to, and explain their intent so that the reader can follow along properly.

Hello gentlemen and gentlemen that pretend to be ladies. I’m adding another entry into CA’s most popular OC rating thread today out of sheer kindness of my heart. I mean, not really - I’ve actually been just doing more productive things than this shit and I couldn’t be arsed to rip apart your shitty OCs. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Imagine having hair that’s both red and red. Your picture tells me your eyes are fucking purple, but I’m willing to let it slide given that Blue/Red make purple anyways. Also if you try and pull that Heterochromia bullshit I will literally open palm smack a squirrel. Mixing primary colours is a fucking no-no. Pick one, or none. Two or more just makes me want to kill myself. Though I want to give you props for having your primaries be a different colour on the tip, I want to shank you as well for having a unicorn horn and wings exist on the same corpus. The term mutually exclusive is in play here, and your Alicorn OC is an affront to the natural order. Pick a team, one or the other. This paragraph is an absolutely fantastic example of giving only examples of things that people don’t give a shit about. I don’t give a shit about whether she liked the job of her parents, and that she decided to do something similar. I want to know WHY. I want to know WHY she made the friends and enemies that she did. What part of her personality encouraged her to be friends with person A vs person B? I want to know what her motivations were to help her friend out of her relationship issues, I want to know what kind of life experience she drew to give the comfort and support that she did. I want to know what about counselling spreads love because the only counsellors I have gone to see have told me that my ‘boyfriend’ is filing a restraining order and my parole officer telling me that I missed my court date. I swear to fucking god I hope you all learn not to make stupid pointless general statements like this That is boring! Super boring. Obnoxiously boring. Do you want to waste people’s time with something boring and pointless? I think not. Put some fucking effort into your OCs. CUTIE MARK Giving me the OC critic version of blue balls. CUTIE MARK STORY So lets first identify that she helped a single friend not dump her SO for such a bullshit reason and apparently that’s life defining. Lets then identify that this character’s talent supposedly is giving advice but it’s never specified that it’s any GOOD. Lets finally identify that this character is literally just giving advice and trying to remote-seduce this friend and apparently that’s enough to be considered good enough to become a personal counselor. Counselors are in one of two baskets, ones that advise clinically, and ones that advise based on life experience either second hand or first hand. Above all the former is preferred well beyond any kook that has achieved not dying for long periods of time. Nothing in this characters description tells me that they have developed any proficiency whatsoever in the practice of social work, nor have any goals related to the ACTUAL goal of social work. Which by the way, is not spreading happiness. Social workers are the lowest form of clinical psychological assistance and are usually only good for misleading their clients based on whatever flavour of holier than thou’ness is popular in that time. A new self help book comes out and suddenly every single social worker from Santa Barbara to Miami wants to jerk off to it. That’ll be $75 come back next week for your session that is simultaneously too short, and a gigantic hassle because you end up spending double the session time just travelling to that shit. But I digress. PERSONALITY Great personality. You’re so unique and interesting that I feel like taking time out of my day to help you figure out ways to improve your character. LIKES If I wanted a list I’d go subscribe to watchmojo.com (Today’s post sponsor BTW) Don’t just list of a bunch of random stuff that anyone could like in any combination for no reason whatsoever. Let your likes be an opportunity to show off your character and WHY they like these certain things and why it’s impactful to the character. DISLIKES Yay more random nouns. At least this gives me the opportunity to day dream about what kind of character this would be if you actually explained why these things are on this goddamn list. SKILLS Given that this is blank, your character is going to be terrible at anything that they do, and I feel bad for anyone who happens to be their patient. DETAILED HISTORY I appreciate you putting in the effort to rewrite your history from memory so that I won’t waste my time typing up a post for your character that I know nothing about but still hate unconditionally. Physical Attributes: 2 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 No extra points. Total: 5 Verdict: Requires immediate incineration TLDR: A character with the intelligence level of /r/holdmybeer finds their passion for not having enough information to fill in a 17 question form.

Y'all are being hoes, so I'm going to throw up an example of the kind of shit you have to look forward to for when someone actually grows some balls and submits their precious special snowflake to my gladiator pit. I'm going to judge my own shitty grey boring OC - Starlight Sparkle. OC's Name: Reasonable name choice, but boring and unoriginal. INB4 "ArE u rElaTeD tO TwiLiGht SpArKle?". Anything that has Sparkle in the last name slot should get a free re-roll because holy shit is that ever pathetic. Minus points if you are stupid enough to try and make an OC who is related on some level to Twilight or really any other canon character. Your Pony's Sex: OC's Species: Picture of OC: Socks are so 2012. This isn't literally 5 years ago where you can put socks on something and instantly make it adorable. Nop. We've gotten that vaccine already. Maybe you can try and actually look decent without the crutch of stupid socks. Body Colour: Boring as shit, just like this character. Mane Colour: Depending on how colour blind and/or stupid you are, this is actually beige. Eye Colour: Body Type: Foalhood: Hey look, another OC where they're a loner when they're a child. Wow, so unique. I have a feeling that most OCs are 'loners' because their creators lack social skills and have no idea how to operate when they have a happy childhood. Good job making your character a one-trick pony too. We're operating strictly in the single dimension here - where this character has literally been doing their special talent from day fucking one. I can't wait until this OC picks up a hobby, like football or swimming, or not being such a Plain Jane. We're doing fiction here, you don't have to make your characters a self insert. Cutie Mark: Decent design that you probably didn't come up with yourself. Cutie Mark: Way to hit it on the head. Cutie Mark Story Nice twist, not to shabby if I'm being honest. If you just said "She finished it and it was great and she got a pat on the back" I would have slapped you with a horsewhip. Seriously. I actually love that you inserted the #1 rule for writing fiction whether it's shitty clopfics or My Little Dashie. You suck, and you're going to have to start over and scrap good ideas if they don't work. Try again, and do better the second time. Personality: All this is going to do is make RP'ing for more than 6 seconds a challenge, and it's going to make you want to shove knitting needles into your sinuses 3 RP's in. Likes: What a surprise. The shy character likes reading and books. Dislikes: Also not surprising. Do something original for a change. Skills: Not wrong, but nothing other than writing so you literally have the most boring straight forward one-dimensional character ever. Detailed History: See, here's the issue with people who do one thing really well and really don't venture far from it. Sure you now have an excuse to say your character is a master of their craft - or something close to it. But now your RP is limited to staring at paper and jerking yourself off with an inked quill. You haven't thought about anything else the character might be interested in other than the absolute bare minimum you need to create a character. This is why we (most of the time) hate characters like Chad Beefcake, Big McLarge Huge, and all those ultra manly testosterone fueled gunbros. They know nothing more than how to mix a kickass protein shake, pick up pieces of metal and put them in the same spot again, and beat up nerds who like playing D&D on the weekend. We don't like those characters because they are predictable and uninteresting. Your character is just like them. Your character is Chad Beefcake, and it sucks. Rating: Physical Attributes: 4 Psychological Attributes: 2 Historical Attributes: 2 Unity: 1 Additional point for: Interesting cutie mark story. Final Score: 10 Verdict: Needs an overhaul, but some fundamental details can be recycled. TLDR: Your OC is boring as fuck probably just like your life up until this point.