OC Threads

<p>>be me</p> <p>>see new forum</p> <p>>reads it all</p> <p>>thinks back to when 4chan was a thing</p> <p>>makes this post the epitimy of reddit</p>

Bible Is the holly book, the book which have the knowledge of the whole world. The book is the downloaded copy which is available in the online market. The https://assignmentman.co.uk/ explain the every context which is describes in the bible in an elaborate way.

<p>List of oc's:</p> <p>Yoshim<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1190/img_1523/userid_274/<br /> Male Earth pony</p> <p>Lucius<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1194/img_3447/userid_274/<br /> Male Lucretiar (dragon subspecies not made by me)</p> <p>Ralph<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1205/img_2954/userid_274/<br /> Male Diamond Dog</p> <p>Mark<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1217/img_2373/userid_274/<br /> Male Unicorn</p> <p>Rouge<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1210/img_3054/userid_274/<br /> Male Changeling</p> <p>Torpid<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1219/img_1412/userid_274/<br /> Male Unicorn</p> <p>Max<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1221/img_0005/userid_274/<br /> Male Changeling</p> <p>Summer Breeze<br /> https://canterlotavenue.com/photo/1224/img_3378/userid_274/<br /> Female Pegasus</p>

I don't know what I love more: The fact that you have the decency to know that socks are stupid looking, or the fact that you deliberately applied socks to make your character look stupid. WOW WHAT A NICE DETAILED CHILDHOOD SUMMARY YOU HAVE HERE. I’m not going to spend more than 2 minutes thinking about any section that has a whole 3 sentences dedicated to it. You have an opportunity to be thoughtful and create an environment that will eventually cultivate your OC in the future, but hey - work is effort. And effort is a waste. Take your two remaining braincells and do something interesting with your character’s childhood. Also you used the term ‘mary sue’ improperly, but whatever. I don’t give a fuck. CUTIE MARK To put it bluntly, I never like receiving incomplete characters. The point of a cutie mark is to allow small children to identify character’s traits by a visible symbol. Don’t be lazy. Holy shit this entire thing is a mess. It’s so meme worthy it almost hurts. I’m sorry, what? I’m sorry, what? BY AZURA BY AZURA BY AZURA Lazy is most certainly an adequate word to describe your OC. CUTIE MARK STORY PERSONALITY . I do not like where this is going. And, we’re done here. See you guys next week. This is where I draw the line.

Greetings space friends, Today you will proceed beyond a rubicon - for you have discovered my OC rating thread. Back from the depths of a now-deceased website, after countless hours of roleplay on many different characters and accounts, I am back 5 years later to tell you how shit both your OC and your waifu are. So how it works is simple. Step 1: Go to https://goo.gl/forms/4sPAh6KUS4Gz9bmf2 and fill out the form with all relevant details. Yes I did omit Alicorn as a species type. This was deliberate. Alicorn OCs are automatically shit-tier. Step 2: Wait for 3-5 business days for me to review your submission. Step 3: Your submission will be reposted to this thread, along with my notes and thoughts following my established criteria. Why am I tying it to a form, do you ask? Well, if someone is suggesting an OC that they've just created or are working on, I would like to keep who it belongs to private. This will keep people from feeling publicly shamed. If you're submitting an OC that's already known by the community - then you know full well what you're doing. Rating methodology: Each question in the form asks for specific information. This information is judged both individually, and as part of the whole. Each individual category is rated on a 5 point scale. This scale is: 1. No positive qualities 2. Sporatic positive qualities - overall negative 3. Both positive and negative qualities. Overall neutral 4. Negative qualities taint an otherwise positive thought. 5. Majority positive qualities - no major negative qalities. The categories that are rated using this system are: Physical Attributes (Appearance) Psychological Attributes (Personality) Historical Attributes (Story) Unity (How well the attributes compliment each other) After all the categories have been rated, an overall score will be administered. This overall score is out of 28. 5 points are allocated per category. An additional point is allocated to each category which has a score of 5. Up to an additional 4 points are added meritoriously for interesting, high quality, high effort characteristics of the character. Overall Score Ranges: 4-8: Requires immediate incineration 9-12: Needs an overhaul, but some fundamental details can be recycled. 13-17: Good details, needs some help around the edges 18-22: Great details, needs that last piece to make it extraordinary 23-24: Amazing! 25+: God-tier Disclaimer: I reserve the right to be sarcastic as fuck during the reviewing process. I also lack morals and impulse control, so take that as you will. Don't wanna get flamed? Don't submit bad characters. Submitting characters is only anonymous to me or anyone who reads this thread if they haven't seen your character before. OC's Rated: Starlight Sparkle ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=309 ) Red Ink ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=328 ) Carnelian Clout ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=347 ) Ryan Shine ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=353 ) Dusty Bones ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=369 ) Lights Action ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=389 ) Luciette ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=390 ) Angel Wingate Heart ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/?view=500 ) FireBlitz ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/view_899 ) Heart Container ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/view_1341 ) Brody Dusk ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/view_1343 ) Butterscotch ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/view_1459 ) Mysti Synphorrnia ( https://canterlotavenue.com/forum/thread/45/spackles-oc-rating-thread/view_1499 )

Your character looks like they have granular corneal dystrophy. I will be kind of impressed if this is what you’re actually going after, as opposed to just adding random shit to your character in the futile attempt to make it spechul. What? They were correct. Also fuck you put more effort into your shit and stop wasting my time. CUTIE MARK Good design, even if overly simplistic. CUTIE MARK STORY What is with people and submitting incomplete characters. Fuck you. I’m not doing any more of this if you refuse to not waste everyone’s time. I can’t give you any feedback if there’s nothing there.

Yes.

Yellow body, red hair seems to be in these days. Also it’s not Scarlet/Crimson, it’s Vermillion and fucking red. If you’re not going to get the colour names right - at least use the hex codes so that the rest of the world actually understands your ghetto Crystal Pony vernacular. Otherwise, good drawing. OH BOY THIS IS A DOOSY FUCKING 1 PAGE OF BACKSTORY HERE WE GO BOYS AND… well lets be honest, there are no girls here. This is the internet after all. First of all Fuck that name. It took me like 7 tries and I still can’t say it properly. In the US approximately 40-50% of marriages end in divorce, so WELCOME TO THE FUCKING CLUB. Ok, so Iceland has an issue similar to this. Being that it’s a tiny island out in the middle of nowhere that’s literally the first choice for film-makers who want a set that doesn’t look like it exists on Earth - nobody but masochists and video-game nerds want to live there. The population right now is about 350k people, among which probably 20k are their goats that they just add onto the population so that they don’t feel so lonely. They have an app on their phones similar to Tinder that allows them to check if they are related to someone they’re dating. However, this is mostly just because the societal standards of other places with more people spill over. Scientifically speaking, there’s no significant increased risk of genetic issues arising in offspring to two people who are second cousins. Even first cousins, depending on their family’s genetic history, will not have too much issue. A rule of thumb is that the risk of defect in children doubles for first-cousin relations. The default rate with no family history of genetic defects is 4%, so it’s not a whole lot of an issue. So basically fuck your Crystal Ponies, they should know better. They’ve had a population smaller than what it is now, and they’ve had to deal with this problem already. They wouldn’t have made the idea taboo because they know it may be necessary to procreate with relatives… just not immediate or secondary. They also would have developed safeguards, tests, and councilling to partners who are forced to enter into this kind of union. This is giving me a lot of hippie new age vibes, and I don’t like it at all. If you end up wanting to make your parents Narcissists, your character would be the narcissist parent’s Scapegoat Child. Gettin all Alexei up in this bitch. Also I need everyone to appreciate modern medicine more, because had the parents sought the counsel of a trained family planner - they would have realized offspring’s a bad idea for them in particular, and saved me the trouble of having to review 2 fucking pages of fucking backstory fuck. This is called Child Neglect Resulting in Death and is punishable for up to 5 years in Canada (if the child is older than 12 but younger than 16), or up to 15 years in many states in the US. It could also be tried as first degree murder. I find it really hard to congratulate you for fuelling your victim complex by painting your parents as murderers, as you’ve literally taken every possible opportunity to sabotage your character’s ability to not kill herself. Which I’m honestly not against, because this has been nothing but a bore since the first paragraph. This is a good example of over-villainization which has stolen your character’s relatability. I’ll take trauma induced psychosis for 200, Alex. See, I can’t take this seriously because the only thing I see here is that stupid bitch of a villain from the shit Indiana movie asking the alien to show her ‘everything’. What’s lacking here is the spontaneous combustion to save me from this character. Religious symbolism? Check. Miraculous power under the control of a child. Check. Setting for unimaginative revenge plot established. Proceed with shit power fantasy at ¼ impulse power. What is this, Ready Player One? That book was shit, and the only redeeming part of the movie is going to be the single scene where the Iron Giant is kicking ass. Can you take back your backstory instead? I have enough victim complex from Tumblr, I don’t need it here too. CUTIE MARK Good simple cutie mark. Me likes. CUTIE MARK STORY Shit cutie mark story. Me don’t likes. Seriously WTF? She got her fucking cutie mark from DEFLECTING BLAME TO SOMEONE ELSE? AHAHAHAHAAAHAHA Fuck if there’s anyone who missed the central theme of MLP’s cutie marks, I think you’ve taken the cake. Now, here’s the thing. MLP cutie marks are a representation of a character’s central personality trait. What they hold most dear. Ie. Pinkie Pie = laughter, because what she holds most dear is that her friends are always happy. Twilight Spackle is Magic because she values knowledge and her entire childhood was consumed with the pursuit of such. Your cutie mark is a diamond, which would represent wealth, beauty, compressed carbon, whateverthefuck. It is not representative of a personal inability to take blame. IMHO the term ‘Special Talent’ is extremely misleading, as talent is simply opportunity + practice. A person who plays piano for 6 hours a day or has high class instruction is going to naturally get better, giving the illusion of talent. A single act cannot and should not ever represent a character. These are what we call 1 dimensional characters. There is also nothing in your backstory that makes it clear to the reader that your character’s personality hinges on their skill at deflecting blame. You just told us you have shit parents and shit writing skill, not anything related to what your cutie mark’s about. It just came out of nowhere. Shit. PERSONALITY Hurr hurr ima smart sociopath look at me, hurr hurr. Fuck. This is terrible. There’s no such thing as sociopathic tendencies. Everyone has times where they’re sociopathic, or psychotic, or whatever. Life isn’t a fucking label-factory. Say it as it is: You are selfish, and care little for the suffering/fates of others. Don’t use the clinical term if you’re not going to be clinical. LIKES Why poetry? Why debate? This isn’t mentioned anywhere else. DISLIKES These are absolute shit dislikes. What part of liberals do you hate? What part of anarchists do you hate? Right now your dislikes are blind hate. Blind hate is not compelling in a character, it’s eye-roll inducing. You don’t hate someone or something simply for it existing - you hate it because you disagree with some part of it. You don’t hate a race just for existing - that’s called racism. If you hate a particular part of the race, then you’re starting to form logical arguments. Whether your argument is logical in the end, completely depends on the situation. SKILLS No evidence of the silver tongue, I call bullshit. I’m going to be honest, at this point I don’t really give a fuck about this character. DETAILED HISTORY I can’t pin down exactly why this is so offensive to the character. She’s painted as a selfish hedonist, however her tone changes at the whim of this god. What does she get out of this? She does not gain pleasure from the fates of others - as you said, she has sociopathic tendencies. One sin removed for femdom Good. Finally the character is growing beyond the atrocities of her parents and is able to reclaim a somewhat reasonable - This entire character really is just an outlet for your torture fetish, isn’t it? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S FUNNIER, THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TREATING YOUR FEMALE CHARACTER LIKE A SEXUAL OBJECT OR… HOW FUCKING DUMB SHE IS FOR EVEN TRYING! HOLY FUCK. Let me just remind you what primary character traits this character supposedly has: Sharp wit, highly intelligent, silver tongue. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH Just because you made a complex sentence, does not mean that your second clause can be a sentence fragment. Complete the thought. They reported what? Are they reporting the caveat? If so - there is no reason for this sentence to be inverted. And instantly I want this character to be the daughter instead of the mother. Ironic, as the mother was never able to truly become free from her parent’s own abuse. Fuck this was horrible. Physical Attributes: 4 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 No extra points. Honestly kind of tempted to straight up remove a point for having a relationship with a canon character. That shit’s no bueno. Total: 7 Verdict: Requires immediate incineration. TLDR; Someone’s torture porn power fantasy somehow got good art drawn for it. Is basically SAO in pony form, but somehow has even less redeeming qualities. The Who What When and Where are worldbuilding. The Why is writing. Don’t focus on the setting, focus on the characters motivations. My method for defining an action taken by a character is thus: Action = Opportunity + Means + Motivation + Catalyst. Action: What the character wants to take place. The pony wants to go to the store to buy something. Opportunity: The ability for a character to do the action, without being held back by other factors. The store is within walking distance, and there are no barriers to entry. Means: The items that are required to complete the action. The pony has enough money to buy the item, and there are no other costs. Motivation: What exists to make the character want to perform the action. The pony is hungry and wants an ice cream sandwich. Catalyst: An external factor that engages the pony to complete the action. The pony’s child is also hungry. IMHO the most important part is the catalyst. The catalyst is what gives importance to the action for something other than the character’s own will to do it. It is mandatory. Example: Luke and Obi-Wan want to go to Alderaan. Action: Go to Alderaan Opportunity: His aunt and uncle are dead, his friends are gone. Means: He can sell his speeder for passage, Obi-Wan can protect and guide him. Motivation: He seeks adventure outside his moisture farm. Catalyst: His blood ties to the Jedi. “I want to become a Jedi like my Father.”

Jesus christ you guys have no sense of humour.

#FFFFFF to pay respects. This is not a colour, this is a brand of tobacco blunt that is obviously not used for tobacco. Well, since this was left blank I am going to assume that your character was birthed at adult size, and that makes me extremely uncomfortable. CUTIE MARK I’m going to take your description for what it is because holy shit is that image tiny. On another note though your cutie mark is primarily white. On a white pony. You can begin to see the problem that arises from this. Make the dominant colour of your cutie mark some other colour than what your body is. Otherwise it looks like shit. CUTIE MARK STORY Another gifted protoge. Great. They come at a dime a dozen anyways, so you’re already a step behind in the race to try to make your character even remotely interesting. I’d also be quite scared if there was someone that was apparently gifted in the field of medicine and health, but apparently didn’t possess the mental capacity to tend to their patients. One of those is a prerequisite to the other, and I am scared to the fact that you have to define this. Not to mention that the statement of, ‘her favourite subject had been health’ gives me terrible emotionally tauting flashbacks. You say health class like there was an entire subject dedicated to making sure that everyone knew the proper way to apply a bandage and to not rub your eyes with the same cotton ball that you just soaked in hydrogen peroxide. The health class I remember involves being really uncomfortable, something about bananas, and being really confused when we were assigned homework in groups. Although I have to say that I’m quite impressed that you were able to curb your enthusiasm enough to make a proper action to base your cutie mark around. The event that lead to the achievement of your cutie mark was not overly ambitious for the stage of your characters life that they’re in. It’s a monumental achievement, especially since they’re doing an action that they’re very interested in. Taking care of others. Although I could do with some more embellishment on this point. You don’t have to be a damn Connelly to push in a couple extra sentences about your cutie mark story. Sure you got it. You’ve established that, but what about what really matters? How did it make your character feel to know that their favourite thing is now their true calling? How did your character react to getting their cutie mark in medicine? What kind of anxiety did it cause your character when they figured out how many years of post secondary education they’ll be forced into and how goddamn expensive it is? How will they cope with their parents asking her why she couldn’t have been interested in something that was a little bloody cheaper? PERSONALITY As opposed to pretty much everything else about the character sheet, I like personality to be able to be summed up in a few sentences. Personality rarely gets complicated. As an example, your character’s personality is “has a stick so far up their ass if you attached strings to their limbs you’d call them a puppet.” I’m going to mention the mandatory stressful family life and the mandatory bullies because it’s stupid, and we need less of it. If it’s not a primary motivator to your character, then forget about it. Everyone already assumes that your character was bullied. Everyone in school was bullied. Everyone in school was a bully. It’s how the world works. Stop trying to feel sorry for yourself for all the pain you went through, because there isn’t anyone on the surface of this questionably spherical world who didn’t go through that in some way, shape or form. Cut it out. I’d also like to mention that I’m amused by your choice of acronym for the Air Force. Because now if you wanted to refer to someone who is in that service you’d be able to call them a REAFer (reefer). LIKES Jobs like being a paramedic, some kind of public service job, or the military is the greatest because no matter what you’re doing everyone in your field has the same appreciation for coffee. If humans were more inclined to cult-like behaviour I would be surprised if there wasn’t a religion based solely around the coffee bean. Jobs like that turn life into very simple math. If you have a programmer, insert coffee and you get code. I’d also hope you like flying because as a pegasus. DISLIKES If you didn’t like paperwork why the hell did you do the paperwork double doosey? Paramedic AND military? If you didn’t like paperwork you literally could do anything else and you’d do less of it. SKILLS I question the REAF’s decision making skills if they decide that they need a branch in a town that has a population of less than 500. Also the Air Force serving as the civilian emergency medical services? What? In Earth Pony territory no less. This doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. DETAILED HISTORY Springheart and Nightwing? Apparently opposites do attract. That’s called having an emotional range that’s greater than a teaspoon. It’s not an accomplishment, it’s called being normal. Because I definitely needed another tally on my ‘dead parents’ ticker. Seriously, when will you guys learn that MLP does not have explicitly stated death? “Hey you! You’re shy and timid!” “Yes, I am.” “Yeah… uh. Yeah! Timid! And shy!” “Yes. Your point being?” Great bullying guys. Way to hustle. I know this isn’t exactly the same, but we have a term in the medical community for a civilian who over prepares for medical emergencies with things that he either has little to no training with, or is not certified to use. We call them ‘Ricky Rescues’, and they are absolutely abysmal. They cause more harm than good most of the time. Seriously had someone try to give Insulin to a stranger because he thought they were going Hyperglycemic. Thankfully, the police arrived before us and told that guy to cut it the fuck out because if he had administered the dose he had, he would have killed them. I mention this because the fact that she was stocked up on bandages in her saddlebag reminds me of it. Don’t be a Ricky Rescue boys and girls. Know your limit, don’t be a hero. I mean, she’s still going to get bullied. The concept of bullying is that as long as one is different, they’ll be picked on. So this really doesn’t make sense to include. Also considering that she wasn’t apparently being picked on for being useless in the first place. Just that they were bullying her because she made herself an easy target. Where’d this come from? Last I heard she was defenceless and timid. When did she go from defenceless to literally joining the military because she thought she was tough. Or is this just her projecting on herself that she is greater than who she thinks she is and she’s going to be dealt a whole big dose of reality soon. I hope for the latter, because that’d be more interesting. This is the correct way to rationalize life. Life is pain. Life is suffering. The only difference between failures and functional beings is that people who succeed use the pain to make themselves better. You don’t suffer any more, or any less. You just choose how that pain will affect you. Will it cause you to post non-stop to anime image boards? Talking to this audience, that’s probably an affirmative. I love it when civilians try to figure out how the military works. There’s a significant lack of E-4 mafia angst here. Although I question the military’s departmentalization by making a department entirely dedicated to natural disasters. All militaries do it a specific way because it makes the most sense. The department that handles dispaching and organization for natural disasters is an organization of the federal government. That organization then utilizes assets from Air Rescue, Combat Engineers, and Logistics to respond to any given crisis. IE FEMA. And causes widespread confusion on why the military is paying someone to not do anything all day in a town that has a negligible population. Actually who am I kidding, that’s not as bad as some of the stupid things the military does already. Doesn’t mean I can’t like it. Humph. Physical Attributes: 4 Psychological Attributes: 3 Historical Attributes: 3 Unity: 4 Total: 14 13-17: Good details, needs some help around the edges

I mean, I do have a basis. I ran a thread exactly like this a really really long time ago. Let me tell you, the shit that I had to wade through would have made a water treatment plant employee nauseous. I just straight up don't accept them anymore. They have no place in this world other than canon character only.

As a judge, I do what I want. I'm not held to any standard from anyone other than what you try to project on to me.

I ran a thread just like this one years ago. I ran it for a long while. A good portion of the characters that were submitted were alicorns, and they were so abhorrently done that - for this thread, I'm not even entertaining the thought. Seriously, out of the roughly two dozen submissions I got early on in that thread's lifespan - somewhere around 8 were straight alicorns. If the hard drive I kept the submissions on didn't die a deserved death, I'd show you as proof of point. See above: If you really want to show me up for my racism, submit one under the 'Other' category. Since this site is apparently super anal about their Alicorn OC's, I'll accept them for a very short duration.

Alicorns are not shitty just because they're alicorns. Alicorn OCs are shitty because they're made by people who have little to no experience making characters, and aren't paid to make them. Alicorns are a special case scenario. They're a significant development or character in any plotline/story/clopfic. Or at least they should be. IMHO Alicorns are best used as if they were a Starbucks - nice every once in a while for the right reasons, but shit when you can't drive more than 10m without hitting another one.

Oh my god. You realize that a humorous statement doesn't need to be inherantly false to be humorous? I ran into an unreasonable amount of shit Alicorn OCs. So I stopped accepting alicorn OCs. To put this point across, I informally stated the above, banning Alicorn submissions with a quip about them being garbage. Either enjoy the humour, or don't. Since you're choosing to not enjoy the humour, your sense of humour is now also garbage just like 90% of the alicorn OCs that exist. That was a joke.

Yeah I remember my normal childhood where my father was killed by the mob. It happens to everyone. Yep. Significant trauma due to the death - not to mention that you’ve now lost your primary male role model, and will suffer significantly in your adulthood because of it. Yeah. NORMAL, YOU KNOW? On a slightly related note, fuck every single OC on this website who have dead parents. MLP doesn’t have explicitly stated death. Make your parent go missing because of a crime case, or something. At least when you don’t have closure on significant events in your character’s past - it gives your character something to motivate them in RP. “Hey Ryan-shit, where’s your dad?” “My dad’s dead.” Vs. “Hey Ryan-shit, where’s your dad?” “I don’t know. He disappeared during one of his cases and nobody’s seen him since. I’ve dedicated my adult life to finding him and tracking down whoever kidnapped him.” You tell me which is more compelling of a character. CUTIE MARK I before E except after C. Also, since I don’t have an image for this so I can judge for myself - but IMHO all MLP styled objects should try to not have explicit black outlines. All the outlines for objects and characters are all coloured, not black. CUTIE MARK STORY That’s really pathetic. Actually it’s pathetic in two separate ways. The first, because your character is an utter idiot and needs to mind his own damn business, and two because you put the absolute minimum amount of effort into this, and I feel robbed of the time I could have spent doing something more constructive than telling you what you already know - this character is boring, uncreative, and unimaginative. There are way way way WAY better and more interesting ways to try and put across that your character wants to protect and help others. This is literally the most cliche, stupid, overused plotline to convey that to the reader. PERSONALITY Oh wow, great personality. You’re EXACTLY LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE FUCKING PLANET. Seriously, I don’t get it with these people who think that “I’m pretty quiet, but I am very talkative when you get to know me.” Well no shit. Everyone’s like that. If you don’t know someone that well, you’re not going to stick Wonka nerds in your nose then sneeze them out like a fucking carebear shotgun. What the fuck do you mean by gritty? What the fuck do you mean by outside? Do you mean that you try to put on a tough outward appearance to hide your vulnerabilities? If so - fuck off, that’s not a personality trait. That’s called being insecure. Being insecure is the personality trait. Insecure people try to hide their true selves in favour of a construct that they believe is more desirable. Which, if you think of it that way, then all you’re doing is shooting yourself in the foot and preventing yourself from making meaningful connections with like-minded people. Be yourself, just don’t be autistic about it. If you have no idea what I mean by ‘just don’t be autistic about it’... then oooooooh boy. So what your personality boils down to is, “THIS CHARACTER IS INSECURE”, which is completely in line with the rest of the submission. LIKES Why do I get the feeling like you’re actually underage, and put beer in there just so you can feel that your character has depth. Which it doesn’t. It’s actually as shallow as my taste in women. Which both starts and ends at, “They look like boys, only feminine.” Also beer, while an adequate way to bond with people over a game of football in the pub, is not a like that you want to put on your fucking character sheet. DISLIKES Nobody likes gangbangers. Gangbangers don’t even like gangbangers. This is a stupid dislike. You’re also a monster because jaywalking is nothing less than the expression of one’s ability to cross wherever the FUCK they want without being told what to do. SKILLS Marksman? Really? We’re bringing guns into this now. *sigh* I don’t have a meaningful response that I have not presented already. I’d also like to point out that Criminal Profiling covers a very vast array of skills. Are you good at physical, psychological, linkage analysis? If you say all of them I’m going to assume that this is a troll because that’s possibly just as if not more stupid than the entirety of the last character I reviewed in this thread. DETAILED HISTORY Wow. Don’t worry, you’ve successfully bored me with the lack of details. I am going to highlight this again, because this is the second time I’ve been told that the DEATH OF HIS IMMEDIATE BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS NOT SIGNIFICANT. Ugh. Wow. That’s really pathetic preaching. Pathetic because it literally does not make logical sense, and also because saying the character’s father was ‘fair’ is an absolute lie. Justice is given in one of two forms: Punishment, or rehabilitation. Punishment is inherently unfair, because there is no way to determine absolute quantity of loss in order to determine what is reasonable punishment. People who do not truly understand justice systems parrot the kind of bullshit that your character’s dad does. There’s no such thing as ‘fair’, in punishment based justice. There is only judgement. Which is part of the reason why the US has a punishment based prison system; because illogical decisions are hereditary on that continent apparently, and they don’t want to stop crime - just make money off it. Also if you change the context of the person saying that exact phrase from a municipal justice to a gang lieutenant - it becomes very clear just how much of a gang the government really is. Likely unintended lethal weapon reference. In Lethal Weapon it gave significance to the character. In this, it makes me want to kill myself. Do people honestly still do comparative grading, or is this just a trope that people don’t ever want to let go of? It’s a shit trope, and your character suffers for its inclusion. I see that he served in the Midtown precinct. Smart people with STEM degrees get jobs in investigation, not violence happy beat cops who did a few years in the police airsoft cosplay team. Physical Attributes: 3 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 If you put any effort into your character, it might be ok. But you didn’t. Total: 6 Verdict: Requires immediate incineration. TLDR; Self insert OC fantasizes of an alternate universe where they’re not a boring dull piece of shit. Commas is not cruise control for sentence structure. They’re used to separate two independent clauses. Which is a smart person way of saying two complete ideas. Using them incorrectly just makes you write like William Shatner speaks. Writing too much is always better than not writing enough. Beating an idea or concept into the ground at least still puts the point across. Being verbose doesn’t automatically make whatever you wrote good - so just don’t be a dipshit.

You're amusing. There's a species choice called, "Other" - if you'd like to have a shot at changing my mind on Alicorn OCs. I promise complete impartiality.

Stop being poor and get some art of your OC. I always head-canoned Earth Pony to be the dominant gene, but whatever. Gotta keep that bloodline clean! This entire section is simultaneously too specific, and annoyingly vague at the same time. “She doesn’t even remember her name”. Speaking so matter of factly is very offputting in this kind of scenario. Remember that you’re defining your character and what’s important to mention during their development into an adult. Is it significant to know that they don’t remember their first childhood friend’s name? No, not really. So remove it. It serves no purpose. This entire section has to be rewritten to be less shit, and have more effort put into it. CUTIE MARK Oh hey look someone found the clipart section of MS Word. What a joke. Not to mention that the background for the cutie mark is different than your OC’s coat colour, it’s blocky, boring, and fucking gray. Nothing in the MLP artstyle is blocky. Even the things that are square like the buildings and whatever have slight slants and bends in them to keep them casual and artsy. Don’t be boring. CUTIE MARK STORY Again, with the lack of effort. If you actually are interested in creating a balanced and interesting character you need to put more than 4 sentences of effort into it. I’m going to finish this review simply because I already read ahead and know what’s coming and I wanna make fun of you for making bad decisions. PERSONALITY I love it when people who aren’t leaders try to describe leaders. They always, always get it wrong. Having a calm temperament is a prerequisite to being a leader. Otherwise you end up being impulsive, which will break the trust your subordinates have with you. I hate this trope. “This character is X but can also be Y.”. You know what that is? That’s called a characterization contradiction. When you contradict what you say about a character immediately after, your character is stuck in a purgatory of shittiness that it will never escape. Pick what your character is like, and run with it. When you have a character that’s calm, you want to keep that going. You want them to follow their character as close as you can for as long as you can. Do you know why? Because when you are inevitably forced to break character because of something happening - it has that much more impact. Think of Fluttershy, as an example. She does not break character often. She is always silent, shy, and obedient. When she breaks out of this, it’s because of something significant. And because it’s significant, it gives that much more impact when the character is forced to make that choice. So basically what I’m saying, is stop being shit. Remove this. Being calm, but able to lay down the law is not passive aggressive. Learn the meaning of phrases before you use them. [quote] She rarely cries. [quote] This is not significant to the character. Remove it. Well then, have fun RP’ing an OC that doesn’t want to interact with people. Come back when you make better decisions. LIKES Disjointed likes. Orange juice? Really. You’re going to profess your love for orange juice in a character sheet? Give me a break. DISLIKES And that’s all I have to say on that subject. And this character sheet is going into the garbage where it belongs… for reasons. Seriously if you’re not going to justify what you say about your character, then whatever you say is useless and worthless. SKILLS You remember that time when you had to break up the creativity with your project? Well neither do I, because that doesn’t make sense. Learn how to grammar. DETAILED HISTORY I like how you looked at ‘Detailed History’ and decided that this was sufficient. Seriously, half of this history is, “This character did things that we assume that characters do anyways” with unnecessary details that I don’t give a shit about. Your history is supposed to show why your character is the way they are in the present day - not to write the chronicle of the character. The chronicle is supposed to be on your hard drive, not mine. What happened here? Who’s Aster? Why did they leave your character in the dust? This sounds like it could be potentially interesting (actually, it doesn’t. It sounds like petty personal drama.) but at least it’s more interesting than everything else you apparently thought was reasonable to write here. You said it, not me. So every single time I wrote something out to respond to how absolutely backwards this sentence is, it never sufficiently put across just how infuriated I am with this. Do you not know what the difference is between a biography and autobiography? Because I don’t think you do. What the fuck even is this sentence. Soon after she was commissioned to write a story called, ‘This OC’ - a comedy. See, this section is where you can tell us the troubles that your character had in making these movies. What challenges she needed to face, what personality flaws gave her problems during the projects, all that good shit. Instead you give us cut and dry “she did this thing.” Everyone knows that saying, “I went to do this for a couple years” is not a proper summary of what happened during those times. Sure, I went to school for 3 years for emergency medicine. I could leave it at that, or talk about the events that happened during those 3 years that shaped me into what I am today. The 6 failed boyfriends who turned me into the salty angry bitch who likes seeing other people cry. Physical Attributes: 2 Psychological Attributes: 1 Historical Attributes: 1 Unity: 1 Total: 5 Verdict 4-8: Requires immediate incineration TLDR; A character who believes that doing the same things everyone else does makes them special fails to amount to anything interesting and makes the reviewer reconsider that time where they chose not to overdose on smack in a Halifax crackhouse.

LOL. Submit as many as you want. Holy shit, this site has me in stitches.

I did have a giggle about it. After the 7th or 8th time giggling it just becomes a chore.