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Novaya Zemlya
by on September 30, 2021
Novaya's eyes moved back and forth between the blank piece of paper on the table in front of her and the old polaroid next to it. The pen in her mouth wobbled slightly as her lip quivered. She was hesitant. The mare had attempted to write this a thousand times already, but could never find the strength to put her thoughts and feelings into words…
Closing her eyes she sighed heavily, the air escaping her lungs in uneven bursts.
No, she couldn't burst into tears and give up again. It had to be done. She couldn't keep running. The best way to move on was to let her feelings out.
Hi ______
I have attempted to gather my thoughts and feelings about all of this many times now... Time has passed so quickly and yet each month has felt like years... It's been nearly half a year since you passed away. I still find it hard to believe… and hard to accept the fact that I will never be able to see you again.
You were an angel sent from above who left this world all too soon.
With your music, with your smile, you brightened the days of so many. Your light never failing to give them the courage they needed to push forward. Myself included.
Although I find it hard to listen to your music now, hearing your voice gives me comfort... but knowing that you are no longer here makes it difficult to enjoy it in the same way I used to.
In the recordings, you usually sound happy, cheerful, excited… Was that a facade you had to put up in public? And around me too? I will never know, but I hope that isn't true. I know your departure was your own wish, but I hope that at least during some of the time we spent together you felt happy. That at least some of your smiles were true. Your laughter was genuine.
I hope I took some of the pain away… At least during the time we spent together…
Not a single day passes where I don't think of you. Since your departure, I've come to realize just how much you meant to me… I wish I had realized my feelings sooner… Soon enough so I could have told you about them. Maybe if I had found out sooner I could have been there for you more… Maybe you would even still be here..? Those are the questions that have kept me awake at night a lot lately. I know I will never know the answer to them, nor will me being filled with regret change anything about the past. What's done is done. I just wish some things weren't so set in stone…
Dino, wherever you might be, I hope you have found the happiness that you couldn't find here. I love you.
- Novaya Zemlya
With a heavy heart and tearful eyes, she put down the pen and looked at the paper in front of her, now filled with scribbles. Novaya quickly averted her gaze, not being able to stand looking at it.
Did she feel any better now that she'd finally written something?
Post in: Lore
Chiara Riviera
Novaya Zemlya
I initially wrote this 3 years ago on my main character but hid it away after multi-chars became a thing.... and forgot about it until just now c':
Chiara Riviera
Chiara Riviera
just finished reading it, i’m going to cry now
Gray Rivers Alto Yuri
:pleading_face::sob: Novaya has officially made me cry, shame on her
Novaya Zemlya
Noooo no cry :(