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Aubade
by on April 15, 2019
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"I'm tellin' ya man. One date. All it takes. Give it a go. When was the last time you actually did anything with a girl besides pray with her and listen to her problems. I bet one's blushed at you at least once as you've held her petal-soft hands in yours...mmmmmmmmff"
Couper sniffs loftily before taking a bite out of his souffle, chuckling at the sound of discomfort from the stallion across from him. "Can we please stop talking about this. I don't want a date."
"You are wasting your life away in that shrine man, you're the son of a demon hunter, you got potential, you got looks-you got reasons for ladies to swoon over you. And we can actually go out and have a fun night together. At least once man come on."
"I heard about your fun nights, Couper, the last one involved you getting bailed out." the pink-coated stallion says as he pokes at his parfait.
"Okay listen-that asshole swung a POTTED TREE at me, he had it coming Sol." Couper growls as he takes an angry swig of his cider.
"Yes but you didn't have to grab it from him and shove it up his rectum while yelling "HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS FINE WOOD" you know..." Solaire responds diffidently.
Couper immediately starts snickering, leaning over the table. "God DAMN that was a good night, Jesus fuck man....ahahahahaaaaa~" it's clear this guy doesn't feel any remorse over it.
The stallion across from him looks up, wriggling his nose. "Are you..day drinking? It's eleven, that smells like booze..."
"Get off my dick, Sol, I literally got bit in the ass by one of those bug vampires. And it STILL burns. Not all of us have heckin' holy vestments." he says with a glare at Solaire.
Solaire just raises a hoof placatingly. "To each their own. I like meditation, maybe a hot bath."
"I'll take a hot bath if I can get some company..." Couper says as he eyes some of the other patrons in the Lounge pointedly.
Solaire just shrugs as he eyes the door-what looks like a dark-furred minotaur and a pony whose tail is a raccoon tail push through the door curtains-currently there in lieu of real doors as they seem to have recently been taken off. Couper's gaze follows his as the minotaur goes to move past him, his hoof going to the whip on his belt.
"Coup-stop-stop! Minotaurs might be a native race to this realm?!" Solaire gasps, although Couper is halfway out of his seat. The minotaur turns, raising an eyebrow as her purple eyes regard them-a cow it looks like. "What?"
Couper, stupid as usual, blinks at Solaire, before looking up at the minotaur, raising an eyebrow. "That a thing? Minotaurs....normal here?"
He doesn't realize how bad what he said sounds, and balks at little as the minotaur leans in, snorting as her ears flick. "Watcha implyin', short stack?" there's a sound of cracking knuckles as she grits her teeth.
"A-ah no...I-I meant like...d-do you...you know the...are you part of...society....Sol can you help me out instead of just sitting there with a hoof up your butt?"
Solaire shakes his head and inserts smoothly "Forgive his idiocy, we're not from around here."
Couper's jaw falls open as he sinks back into his seat, betrayed. The minotaur grins as she leans against the back of his booth, grinning. "Look at this prettyboy, I like him. Like the robes too..." she seems to have calmed down....situation defused. Speaking of his robes, she seems to be wearing a similar garb, albeit more form-fitting and cut, but same neighponese stylings.
"Thank you miss, I can't help but notice your outift-demon-hunting garb I assume?" his eyes go down to the Oni mask on her waist, the scrolls and knives at her hips, then back up to the woven fabric. "Is it blessed by priests?"
"Naaaaaah I wish." the Minotaur says as she cracks her neck. "We ain't got any of those here-they are enchanted to repair tears and rips on their own in the weaves, which is pretty cool. Aside from that, they're just keeping me not naked. So you all from Neighpon then?" she presses as the tanuki-pony near her trots over, having ordered a drink and food.
"Not....not exactly we're...we're from..." Sol isn't sure how much he should say.
"Don't be shy dearie, you can say if you're not from this plane or world. I happen to be from Gensokyo myself!" the mare says as she pulls a pipe out from her robes, lighting it with a little flame from her hoof.
"Wait-THE Gensokyo-that legendary place in Japan regularly populated by youkai-but where they usually got along with humans peacefully? Like with the villages and everything?" Couper says, standing up in his seat in surprise.
"The very same dear, I'm glad you heard of it!" the mare says with a wiggle of her tail.
"So...that makes you..." Couper tilts his head, staring at her tail. "A youkai...."
"Tanuki, to be specific! Mamizou, at your service...or perhaps you at mine..." she winks as she takes a pull from her pipe.
"Whoa! A real tanuki-we never see those anymore where we're from-!" Solaire says excitedly. "They only ever used to appear to the worthy in folklore-I'm so happy to actually meet one!"
Mamizou grins as she nods. "So then you two must be from...another earth...the kind inhabited by the simians."
"Hah, simians." Couper says as he sits back down, eyeing Sin speculatively.
"Coup you fit that description back home with your behavior don't even." Sol jabs as he takes a bite of his parfait. He scootches over on a whim, in case Mami wants to sit down, which she obliges him, leaving her fluffy tail hanging off the booth.
"Heh." the minotaur doesn't wait for Couper to do the same and bumps him aside with her large hips, shoving her way into the booth. She barely fits....
"Thanks for the backup Sol. Last time I drag you out of the monastery. Seeing rare creatures and having you rip me in front of them. Worst wingman." Coupe wheezes.
"Hmmmmmm I wish I could stay rare, but....previous residence was demolished by demonic activity so here I am, wondering the land for a new haven..." she says glumly. "Least no one has tried to grab my tail yet...." Mami muses.
The moment she mentions demons, both Solaire and Couper's heads flick to each other, then her. "What kind of demons?" Solaire queries.
".....demon demons, dear? I don't...quite know how to answer that." Mami says confusedly.
"Me an' here were part of an order dedicated to fightin' demons here. Had a monastery and everything. I sorta ran away from it cause I didn't agree with how they ran things." Sin says helpfully as she sticks a finger in her ear to scratch it. She feels a little left out being the only person native to this world apparently but she's still the coolest at the table so hah.
"Right she is. They attacked last week and..." Mamizou sighs. "All our decades of research and training...trashed."
Solaire rests a hoof on the tanuki-pony's, solemnly nodding. "It would be our honor to exact vengeance on these demons and restore your order."
Mamizou shrugs. "It wasn't that great of an organization, I don't think we can rebuild...but vengeance...that'll do I guess. Not me of course, I'm far too old for that crap. But I'll be happy to let you kids have at it."
"Mmmmmm...see the question is, are the rise of the demons and the surge of the vampires connected? Seems hella coincidental..." Couper muses as he strokes his cider cup.
"Vampires? You mean like bats?" Sin say as she looks down at Couper quizzically.
"No, I mean like vampire vampires. Blood succ and all that." the stallion says as he waves his hooves. "Sol's merely a demon hunter-I'm specifically a vampire hunter-the best there is, actually."
"Well I mean if we run into any vampires we'll let you know. Jiangshis are legend man..." Sin says with a snort as she leans back.
"They're a legend because they were all eliminated dear-vampires in other countries could still exist." Mami says as she taps her pipe.
"Yes, and myself and Coup are sure that is a new vampire lord in the land here, as we've both had to deal with rather sizable denizens of the darkness that are direct servants of vampires." Sol says with a grim nod.
"Well...I mean...what the fuck does that look like? Some pony with a cape and red glowing eyes and fangs?" Sin sounds really skeptical about all this.
"Yeah uh not every idiot feels the need to be a gothic-styled loser like Vlad Dracula Tepes. Vampires can look however they want. But yes, the fangs and red eyes are usually a giveway..." Couper says with a shrug.
"Well I ain't seen anyone like that, so..." Sin shrugs as well.
"I have. Just earlier this week. And she was fighting with people as well..." Couper says as he stares down at the table. "Supernatural strength and endurance and speed, red eyes, fangs...no doubt about it. And sides....Belmonts can sense vampires like an alcoholic senses booze."
"You're both..." Sol mumbles as he finishes his parfait. Burns on this guy are good.
"Well...shit...I guess." Sin says as she folds her arms. "Ya'd think the police mighta said something about vampires."
"We would, if we could confirm they exist." a voice cuts into their conversation. A mare's voice, from the booth behind them. Sin leans over the booth with a glare, her fingers kneading at wood. "Hi, hello, don't remember inviting you to this conversation...?"
"OH pardon me, I was just sitting here and just heard you speaking without any hint of a hushed tone quite loudly...the mare snorts as she slides out of the booth, moving around to theirs. Her fiery-looking mane frames a ruddy, freckled cream face that would look cute if her glare wasn't ready to kill. "Detective Honeybell, EPD. The police are trying to pin a lot of the recent murders on a different creature, even though I've got rather conclusive proof we're dealing with a vampire-multiple, perhaps. I haven't got any solid proof to convince them sadly, but...if you're here to hunt vampires I can tell you what I do know." she shrugs. "Or I can go if I'm just bothering you."
"No no! Police are like, paramount to this sort of thing. That way you can vouch for any collateral!" Couper says as he leans in, waving a hoof. "Happy to have you on board, Miss Honeybutt!"
"Honeybell, Coup. Get your head out of..." Solaire trails of as Mami snorts. This guy.
"Right...anyway...this is not a great place to talk." Honey says as she looks around. "Could already be people here..."
"Makes sense." Solaire nods as he leans back. "Perhaps someplace after we eat?"
"The precinct might be good but I don't know how they'd respond to me bringing in...well...private contractors? That's what you'd be at this point..." she sighs. "This situation is ass."
"Ass though it be, we need a place and I don't think any of us has one..." Sin proffers as she rubs her chin.
"I might." another voice cuts in, causing Sin to groan as she leans back, rubbing her face. "Is there no such thing a private conversation anymore in this country?"
"Madame please, two of your party members recently crossed over from a different universe, I keep tabs on this sort of thing." the person accosting them appears to be a rather dapper-looking stallion who is walking on his hindlegs, his forelegs burdened with books. "Thankfully it was a stable portal-I assume you were sent here...?" he eyes Solaire and Couper, the latter of whom shrugs.
"We were sent here by the Church. Something about vampires surfacing and the latent level of darkness increasing-I thought it was none of our business at first but in the couple days since I've gotten here I'm glad we were sent-your world is pretty cushy, and I don't think you have anyone of our caliber here to handle vampires..." he says with an apologetic smile.
"Quite right you are sir, I've actually spent the last week researching vampires-and the vampiric activity..." he says with a nod at Honeybell. "...to see what we're dealing with. And all I've really been able to find out are the myths and legends. Crucifixes? Garlic? Holy water? I don't even know what's legitimate and what isn't..." he shrugs.
"Well the garlic is a myth, of course-it's no more or less effective on vampires than any other vegetable. The myth was made up after a vampire hunter in the early days belched right in a vampire's face after having some bread. The resulting foul smell would make anyone writhe in agony really. Idiot thought it was real though." Sin snorts at that one.
"And holy water works, but it's water that's been consecrated by priests. And I happen to be one." Solaire says with a little wave.
"Fascinating...truly fascinating..." Trish says as he fixes his glasses. "I would be lying if I said that I have been doing something probably similar to what your mages have been doing and delving into your universe to learn some history...I am to guess you are a Belmont of the Belmont line, heir of the holy whip Vampire Slayer..." he says nodding at Couper. "And you...are the offspring of Soma Cruz, last heir to the Dark Lord's power and owner of the Power of Dominance?"
Solaire and Couper look at each other, impressed. "Regular Belnades, this one. Spot on!" Couper says as he rests his goatee on his crossed hooves. "You look like a mage yourself!"
"I am!" the stallion says enthusiastically as he raises a book. "In fact, I just enchanted a new tome this week based off a rival of your father's-Dmitri Blinov! His skill-the ability to absorb and copy any spell used against him...I was able to replicate this affect in my tome-the Arcana Blinova!" he seems excited about this.
"....Imma say it. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD." Sin says with a yawn as she leans back. Woof rude.
"I am very interested to learn more about your studies, mister...?" Solaire says politely.
"Trish, at your service-oh and you said you needed a place to talk?" he says with a sly grin. "I may have an alchemy lab with a wonderful lounge area..."
"Are there snacks?" Sin says. Important questions.
"Can I smoke?" Mamizou says. Less important questions.
"Yes to her question, no to yours, there's explosives." Trish says with a head shake.
"Well...." the tanuki-pony shrugs as she moves off the bench to take her sake she ordered. "As I said, a bit old for this sort of thing-I'll stay here in Ponyville as an informant for you all-you kids go have fun. She nods as she moves off.
"Well then...Honey...bell?" Couper nods at her as he stands. "Up for a little...war council?" he says with a grin.
The mare nods at Trish. "Let's get this shit done."
Sin hoists Couper up on her shoulder as she stands. "HYYYYEEEAAAH BOI!" okay then.
Solaire leaves the money for the bill as he stands with a nod, following Trish as he moves off. "Let's bring some light back to this plane."
Topics: rp, oc, castlevania, crossover