Dementophobia: Death. (Violence and mental declining warning)

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder who I am. I forget at times and my brain puzzles the peices together. Slowly I lose concept of time, feeling, love, sensation, taste. It was all replaced with fear. A fear anyone can understand. A fear of losing ones self. In my case, I'm losing my mind. I can't talk to people anymore. I fear losing myself. Time moves so slow in my eyes. Fear rules in godly body as even then I watch their teeth banging. Their lips smacking. The world spins so slowly. Is the world against me? They say mean things to me. I fear of losing myself. I can hear their voice but what are they really saying? I get many answers but none I can decipher. Their clothes so bright. Their breath so potent. Their eyes so red with pain. Their blood forced out of their body. I fear I am losing myself. The world is so cold. Yet so beautiful. I'm georgous yet no one talks to me. I am loveable yet avoided. I am a good girl yet everyone hates me. They claim that anyway. My mind is but a raging war. I'm losing the battle. When I move it feels like ages to go from 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 2 to... What comes after 1? Right 1 to 2 to 1 to 2. See? Not so easy when you intentionally count it yet I do for every step I take. I fear I may be dying inside. Don't step outside, Amy. That's what they want. Why is it so dark yet only 2 o clock? Why does no one love me? Do I smell? I'm sorry. Every day I get like this. I think someone is hijacking my brain. I fear I may become sick. I fear I will lose my mind. So much yet so little. I peel away at my fingers to find that I still bleed. I'm not immortal but maybe immortal adjacent? I should jump off a build to check. Yeah. I won't die! I'm immortal adjacent! I'm fearing my losing grip on the world. I can hear waves and people laughing. I also hear faint laughter. Faint crying. Ohhh the children are so cute. What will they sound like if I break their fragile bones. Their developing teeth. Their growing bodies and eyes. I wonder what they taste like? Crack crack crack! Ahhhh! Hahaha. I am losing this battle. Why is the sky so red. Why is the river of blood? Why does my food have cockroaches in it. When are they so nestled in my skin. I just want eat them. I eat my own flesh to get to the juicy bug but... Only blood. It's itchy. It's hair. It's smelly. It's hungry. I cannot keep going like this. The walls are moving! The walls are shifting! The walls are sneaking! The walls are... Wait... Walls don't move. Silly me. They do stare and it is rude to stare Mr. Walls. They oogle my down like they want me for themselves. They better catch me first. Hahaha! Please stop this torment. Please don't hit me! I was a good girl! I promise! Ouch! Why mommy! Why daddy! Why must you condemn such a precious girl. Get the children out get the children out get the children out get the children out get the... What was I doing again? Get the-... I'm at odds with the devil and she looks like me. No greater evil. No disturbing factor. Not creature can compared to myself. I am my worst enemy. Drown them. Eat them. Take them. Watch them. Rolllll! To the back of my head little shrimp! Eat at my brain! Static. Everything is so dark. Why did you have to leave me. Leave me. Leave me? Who am I now? I am Death. Death Incarnate. I spew blood of my foes. Nothing is comparable to my love. Nothing is more sacred then peeling the flesh off bones. I am Death. I fear myself. I fear what I have become. I have become Death.