Totally Groovy, Syntatic Ambiguity! [FEAT. Tertullion Simulacra]

You’re alone in your home. The storm outside is spilling something fierce, but lucky for you, you’re in your nice, warm house watching a bit of TV while the rain spatters against your window. Unfortunately, strong winds have taken out the picture of the TV. It’s all static… You sit, you wait… and it still doesn’t come back on. Perhaps now’s the time to turn it off and go to bed? That seems to be the appropriate thing to do. It’s not late, but it’s well within bed time parameters. With the thought just now leaving your mind, you stand up, and suddenly…! The static begins to clear! It all returns to color and folds in on itself… unfortunately, your show had gone to commercial. A glam rock inspired guitar riff greets your ears back to the world of the telly while the image of a space-themed skating rink and all it’s bright colors form into a cohesive shape. “Greetings Earthlings,” a young mare’s cheery voice called from off screen. “We at the Space Academy have been monitoring this planet closely, and it’s just *not* funky enough! Therefore, we’ve established a hip little base between 4th and 5th Avenue, for our grand master plan:” Cartoon stars shoot across the screen and leave a trail of sparkles and rainbows, captioning the mare’s next words. “The Funkification of The Planet!” The effect clears, and now you see the source of the voice. There’s a smaller mare on the rink, skating her way toward the camera while it maintains a fixed distance away. Her wild pigtails are stuck within a fishbowl-style astronaut helmet, and stuck around her body is a full bodysuit, gray and metallic, with rounded, indigo highlights to draw some attention to her legs and her roller skates. “What’s groovin’, Earthlings? My name’s Space Captain Trinity, code name: Disco Queen, and I have been sent from On High to deliver this hip little announcement personally. Lookin’ to awake your inner disco? Look no further: as we’ve set up our home base, code named: Atomic Orange.” The camera cuts away to show the exterior of the establishment. A clean, nice looking standalone building with obvious influences from 80’s space core cheese, what with the stylized planets and stars hanging in front of a neon sky of purple and pink. ‘Atomic Orange’ was spelled out, with the second ‘O’ being replaced by the air-brushed image of Saturn. “We’ve got it all to soothe that groove in your heart! From tasty rations, to the hottest rink in the galaxy! Skating not your style? That’s cool; if you’re in to defending your planet from the wicked Planet Dismal, we’ve got plenty of laser blasters for you! Or, if you wanna spend some downtime, and some quarters, we have plenty of cabinets, you won’t want to stop!”— The image flickered. Your TV was acting up once more, and skipping the last word Trinity had spoken prior along with her bright smiling face wheeling in from the camera’s left. Static overtook the screen once again. “Stop!—” “Stop!—” “Stop!—” “Stop…” her tone had suffered a significant shift. Tired. She sounded tired and desperate. “Stop…” “Please…” “Stop…!” Just as it did before, it resurrected itself back to something viewable. Trinity, still in her dorky space suit and now standing in the rink’s front doors. “And I didn’t even tell you the best part! I’m not just some pretty face— I’m the captain of this operation! Maybe I’ll catch some of you cool cats hanging around for a debriefing, huh? I gotta keep my crew’s morale up, so I’ll be out there singing, dancing, and doing tricks out on the rink just to make sure we can accomplish our goal! Got you ready to sign on? Well, the entrance is our sign up sheet, so once you’re inside, you’re a Space Cadet for life! I’ll see you all there! Groove On!” The static buzzed once more, however this only lasted for a couple moments. Your show resumed without any further delay or interruption.