For someone who's no longer here (+18)

Zerathur's dull blue eyes open to meet a familiar yet all too ethereal presence, the dark chitinous face of the young changeling queen merely inches from his face. The signature tired smile, the bright blue eyes full of longing, the voluminous and somewhat messy purple mane that adorns her delicate complexion; The mother of his daughter, the lady that took his hand and pulled him along distant golden shorelines. He smiles at her in return, laying still whilst she gently wipes the blood he'd cried. The long sleeves in her white clothes gain a few stains, but they are soon gone as self-cleaning runes take action--- She'd always been the smarter one between the two when it came to every-day spells. His heart tightens within his chest, a hurt that slowly spreads through his back and his arms, even as he sits up and rests against the wall.  There's blood at the bottom of her white dress, pain behind her soft voice. He can see it in her eyes as well, intricate coils of magicked crystals floating in suspension signalizing the same grief he'd seen eons ago. Just as then, he feels the mental anchor he has in reality shifting, his mind isolates itself to protect the greater whole. However, this is only temporary; She's stood up straight now, her shoulders heavy with unseen burden, and yet she still has the strength to offer him a hand. He takes her hand and together they get him to his feet, yet she's no longer there. It was only a phantom, just another creation of his daydreaming mind given too much magic. Of course, she died so long ago. Everyone did. He catches himself staring at his own hand, closing and opening it repeatedly as though trying to grasp hers once more, oblivious to the truth. He pulls it to his chest and holds it close to his heart, fully aware of the pair of purple eyes that stare at him from the doorway. Adeena's words interrupt and cut through his like a hacksaw through bone. He side-eyes her silhouette in the dark, not all too dissimilar from the one he once knew; Yet he also sees more, he knows more. She's told him some in her desperate attempts to connect that he's consistently shot down--- Of course she has. After all, she is as much Adeena as she is every incarnation of Despair. Including... Including the only lover he'd ever truly given himself to. Except she isn't her. She's not truly her, only her memories. Zerathur lowers his hand to his side and watches as the blood and viscera that cling onto his mane and clothes burst into slow-burning blue flames. He doesn't wait for the cleansing spell to end before he turns fully towards the doorway, his legs struggling with each step. He stops before her and raises his eyes to meet hers, her doll-like chitinous face expressionless as ever. She's still staring, but steps aside to let him pass.