So a couple years ago, I made a health update talking about my back pain that I'd been dealing with for, at the time, six years. Now, I'm still dealing with it, but I did get an answer for what was wr... View MoreSo a couple years ago, I made a health update talking about my back pain that I'd been dealing with for, at the time, six years. Now, I'm still dealing with it, but I did get an answer for what was wrong with my back I believe last year. Time has been hard to keep track of lately. I need to talk about this at least somewhat because I've been unable to actually talk with hardly anyone about even a fraction of the issues I've been working to overcome.
So as of some time two years ago, I was going through a lot of stress and wound up catching acute bronchitis. Not only was it one of the worst bouts of sickness that I went through for weeks at the time, but it also completely took me out of my job as my back pain developed far enough to make my legs start giving out on me in certain situations. The constant coughing triggered my back pain and brought me to my knees so often that I had major bruises on my knees for so long. Not long after that, we finally got me to a place that could get me some answers, and finally, after several years of nothing, I at least got one answer regarding my lower back pain, though not my upper back pain.
I suffer from Lumbar Spondylosis, or to put into simple terms, lower back arthritis. Now, according to my physical therapist, there's a small fracture in my lower back. Fun stuff. But also according to him, it should be something I can still work on. Unfortunately, I cannot as I've been brought to my knees by the most mundane things in my life. Coughing, sneezing, standing up after having sat down for a short or extended period of time, and stepping up stairs. I've been so unlucky as to take a rusty nail into my knee when going up the stairs, and no, not the sharp end.
Now, this all doesn't account for my upper back pain, which is an entirely other beast that I still don't have an exact answer for. The only knowledge I have regarding it is that it is hereditary. It makes it difficult to breath when I'm working or standing over something, makes it really hard to breath when I lay down for the first 15 minutes, and causes an immense burning sensation while still being hard to breath when I try to push through it...that doesn't go away for about half an hour to an hour. Then there's what I affectionately refer to as the 'Feedback Loop' where one of my back pains, usually my upper, will start up and trigger my lower back pain, only for that to make my upper back pain act up even further in an endless loop of pain.
Simply put, I have lost the ability to do a lot of what I used to and it's taking quite the toll on me. Music, Writing, Games, Cards, even walking, I've barely been able to do at all. If that wasn't bad enough, I've got a family that barely takes my issues seriously and even questions it even though I've had several moments where my body gives out on me. I'm walking with a cane at 26 years old and my whole life has been me living on survival mode and trying to catch up to basic knowledge most people already know. I'm lucky to catch on quickly to a lot of things, but I still get extremely overwhelmed in situations I'm not familiar with as fighting pain and fear have been the only focuses in my life.
I feel like I should make some cry for help, but I'm always so afraid of actually getting help. This is more of a venting for me as I have gotten to a point in my life where I can't trust anyone around me, not out of fear for my wellbeing mind you, but because I've been let down at every left and right. I'm only able to trust myself to get things done for me, but I can't even do that as my body wants to constantly give out on me.
To put simply, I'm angry, I'm tired, and I'm needing some kind if outlet to vent to because I've only been able to talk to myself about my own issues for years on end, save for the very few who already know about my issues here. Once again, no Star plushie in the update as it just won't fit here.
Ow ow ow, my hands hurt! Just beat Bloody Palace on DMC4 and I am in so much pain. Still worth it, but I had to take like 2 breaks during it just to get my hands to stop hurting for at least a little ... View MoreOw ow ow, my hands hurt! Just beat Bloody Palace on DMC4 and I am in so much pain. Still worth it, but I had to take like 2 breaks during it just to get my hands to stop hurting for at least a little bit.
Star Hope @Honey seep
Are ya'll real? Are you's the same person ? X3
So as far as updates go, this is gonna be a pretty bad one. So the injuries I've been getting lately have been rather temporary. Call me accident prone, call me a cry baby, but one thing I can take so... View MoreSo as far as updates go, this is gonna be a pretty bad one. So the injuries I've been getting lately have been rather temporary. Call me accident prone, call me a cry baby, but one thing I can take solace in is that I'm stubborn, I'm persistant, and I'm hard to put down. Unfortunately as of lately, one of my more intense injuries has been taking its hold on me. I don't like talking about it because I hate feeling like I can't handle it and I hate garnering sympathy, but right now, this has not only bled into my work, but my ability to rp and even my usual activities. In fact, it's because of it causing me troubles with rping that I'm talking about this at all, so to whomever it may concern I guess.
So I've been fighting some severe back pain for six years now. I've already been to the hospital for it a couple times and I haven't gotten a straight answer besides 'We don't know what's wrong with you' word for word. I've basically been forced to have to theorize what's been going on with it. My latest ones have been nerve damage, an unaddressed back injury, or something as simple as posture, but the last two I've kinda debunked because the doctors that did the x-rays would have noticed something wrong with it at least.
It's gradually been getting worse and as of late, it's been causing breathing problems, issues laying down, slight insomnia from pain, and most recently, pain that extends down to my hip and causes leg and hip pain. I've had to cut off certain rps early due to me needing to catch my breath whenever my back starts acting up. There's no focal point, no culprit behind it, just non stop full back pain. I've felt bad about having to cut off early when I start actively responding, and because my mind is more focused on the pain, I have a hard time remembering to go back after it's over, and that's assuming I'm not drinking or going to sleep to try to ease it. (No, drinking is not the cause of the pain, I've only resorted to it during my worst bouts of these pains. It's genuinely the only thing that numbs it)
Right now, I'm just going through the motions and trying to push on to continue my rps, but until further notice, I might end up having an even more crazed schedual to work with. If you're fine with being patient with me, I appreciate it. And again, I hate garnering sympathy and am not trying to do so here. I'm just trying to forwarn any future and current rps at the moment of sudden dissapearences before responding several hours/weeks later. I'm very sorry if I may be coming off as standoffish or aggitated in this post, I'm just at my limit right now.
No Star plush picture unfortunately. I don't feel as though it would really fit in this update.
I'm out of the hospital now! So they gave me some medicine and I went through an entire IV in about 30 mins, so I should be doing better. Gonna try to get some sleep, but for now, nothing but good new... View MoreI'm out of the hospital now! So they gave me some medicine and I went through an entire IV in about 30 mins, so I should be doing better. Gonna try to get some sleep, but for now, nothing but good news
Welp, I'm in the hospital now. I got nurse Star watching over me right now, but hopefully I'll leave here feeling better. Sorry for the lack of activity lately, but the pain's been killing me. Once th... View MoreWelp, I'm in the hospital now. I got nurse Star watching over me right now, but hopefully I'll leave here feeling better. Sorry for the lack of activity lately, but the pain's been killing me. Once this is over then I'll be able to become active more in a couple days.
#rp
Star had made her way to the front lobby of the hospital, looking to a clipboard for a moment before looking around at the ponies there. Eventually, she'd call your name, indicating you were up ne... View More#rp
Star had made her way to the front lobby of the hospital, looking to a clipboard for a moment before looking around at the ponies there. Eventually, she'd call your name, indicating you were up next.
(I may not respond instantly as slep tiem is soon, but I will respond)
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