Tality

Can't punch your way to happiness. I tried that.

Female. Lives in Ponyville, Equestria. Born on August 15, 1985

Race

Earth Pony++

Roleplay Availability

OPEN

About Me

Tality's a character whose sanity varies day-by-day. She presents herself differently to different ponies, sharing as much of herself as she thinks the other ponies can tolerate, as she's desperate for companionship, but has lived so long she can only share a tiny sliver of her story with any one pony in particular. it's not enough to quell the loneliness, but it's better than nothing.

And who knows? Maybe someday she'll find an immortal that doesn't end up sacrificing their life for their people... View More

Roleplay Universe

Multiversal

Roleplay Type

Narrative Multi-Paragraph

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Artist, Band or Public Figure » Artist

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Canterlot Avenue Development

Company, Organization, or Institution » Computers/Technology

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32 Members

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Status Update

Tality

August 23, 2024 4:25 am

Alright, so little tiny admission here, I fell for a Brazillian Girlfriend Scam. Pretty sure. I was pretty sus going into it, too, but gods-damn did it hit me SQUARELY where I was vulnerable. I'm alre... View More

4 people like this.

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4/7

Cotton-Tail

ouch, Sorry to hear about that :C

Like 2 August 23, 2024

Tality

Oh yeah, it stings, but I'm mostly overjoyed that its over and I don't need to feel any of that horrible guilt anymore. I just have to deal with the horrible guilt over what I put my partner through! I mean, he's already forgiven me at every step. That's what real love is like. Could have been wors... View More

Like 1 August 23, 2024

Petricor

//Makes me wonder if half the people I've interacted with online aren't a brazillian scam, lol Seriously, there's so many fishy people around. Remember, trust nopony

Like 2 August 23, 2024

Tality

I always say "trust but verify". In this case I didn't push the verify step because we'd already established trust ... or so my dumb ass thought.

Like August 23, 2024

Petricor

//Guess I've just grown cynical after that many back stabs, lol

Like 1 August 24, 2024

Tality

I never put myself at enough risk to get backstabbed.

Like August 27, 2024

Hopestrong and Mellowstring So...

//I'm confused on 2 fronts. 1, I never heard of this scam before. 2, I thought you was already in a steady relationship. //Can you explain the scam to me, if you are willing to. As well, I hope things are better for you now.

Like 1 August 23, 2024

Hopestrong and Mellowstring So...

At least now, you know the signs.

Like August 25, 2024

Tality

Yep. It's whenever I start feeling horrible because I can't help somebody. I mean, I don't mean that, but that's what I fixated on and missed everything else.

Like August 27, 2024 Edited

Hopestrong and Mellowstring So...

Don't think your empathy is something is good. Never feel ashamed for having a strong sense of care. Its a good thing. Yet, never allow others to weaponize your kindness for their ill gains. It never wrong to ask for specific details. Always asks your friends if something sounds off. You have a sup... View More

Like August 27, 2024

Star Hope

I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that. A lot of times, we're lucky to get the warnings of scams before they actually happen to us, but something we tend to forget is that much like actual disaster warnings, these warnings came after someone got hurt by these awful people. I feel as though... View More

Like 2 August 27, 2024

Tality

Thanks. It's still unraveling. I'm still unraveling. I thought it wouldn't be so bad, but I'm finding that grief is really weighing me down. I'll never be able to trust someone like that again. I guess I'm wounded and just need to hide right now while I figure out who I am and what I want now. It's... View MoreThanks. It's still unraveling. I'm still unraveling. I thought it wouldn't be so bad, but I'm finding that grief is really weighing me down. I'll never be able to trust someone like that again. I guess I'm wounded and just need to hide right now while I figure out who I am and what I want now. It's not just this one guy. I finally have an answer for a whole lot of my psychological problems, especially the ones I created Tality to explore in the first place. I was right. My condition is real, and it's being recognized now, slowly. CPTSD. Reading the description was like I wrote it myself, about myself. I used many of those very same phrasings. And I get the emotional flashbacks all the time. Basically all the time. My mother gives me such horrible anxiety. But I know she loves me dearly. I don't understand the dichotomy, but I feel like one of those monkeys that had a mom surrogate made of barbed wire or whatever. She wasn't abusive, but she kept forcing me into situations where I got overwhelmed. She dragged me everywhere. I think I was resigned to having no control over my life before I could even talk. I don't ever remember not feeling depressed and helpless. I remember learning that if I needed help with something, I had to be very, very careful how I phrased it, because if I phrased it the way that was natural to me, I'd get rebuked and told she was too busy or "later" or whatever. She wasn't able to read my distress. Or ... I intentionally hid it from her. I don't remember. Everything was so overwhelming, I was barely able to take in any of it. I just feel like I grew up without a mom. She was always home but never available. She tried to talk to me all the time. But it's different. It was always stressful to talk. I had so little control over my own mind. I don't really blame my mother, or I don't think I reasonably can. I think she did the best she could, and that's all anyone can really ask. And yet. My siblings agree that she was very demanding. She was the kind of mom that took us to Disney World and had an itinerary for the whole trip that we absolutely failed to stick to. At first, it was because of us, and me especially that couldn't handle it. But over time, she came to realize that she couldn't keep up that pace either, and she turned on me when she ran out of energy. She was passive aggressive, not outright aggressive. Which is so much harder to confront, when she made it all about not being accusatory by using "I language", as if that was all it took to not be accusatory. But I didn't know better. Now I do and I struggle not to do it to others. I ... I think I hate her. I think I despise her. I owe her more than I can ever repay, but I've been at her beck and call for nearly four decades and I finally completely caved in. Utterly unable to function. I pushed through it two more times after that for things that were really important, but they only broke me even more completely. If this is what people who love me do to me. Why would I want that?

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Like August 31, 2024