Oh my goodness. Today is fish related themes.
I've been waiting so long for a legitimate use for BAP certifying one of my posts.
Well wait no more my fellow fish and bap enthusiasts!!! Behold! The B... View MoreOh my goodness. Today is fish related themes.
I've been waiting so long for a legitimate use for BAP certifying one of my posts.
Well wait no more my fellow fish and bap enthusiasts!!! Behold! The BAP certified formula of 1 bap = 1 happ!!
"Have you heard the saying: 'It's not about the destination, it's about the journey'?"
"Well, yeah [...] I don't think I've ever heard you say it though."
"What if your entire life was the journey?"... View More"Have you heard the saying: 'It's not about the destination, it's about the journey'?"
"Well, yeah [...] I don't think I've ever heard you say it though."
"What if your entire life was the journey?"
"I don't know [...] you'll never die if you don't want to. [...] There's always going to be something you can learn, something to completely master. [...] I guess you aren't thinking about that."
"No."
This was a brief conversation I wrote between two of my most important characters, Chiller Sway and Seafoam Wake. I knew what I was writing about, what I wanted a reader to think. Whether I got that point across isn't relevant to this post. I wanna mention what it was like reading this recently.
So, what if your entire life was the journey? After all the destination of life is death, so of course the journey is everything before that happens. But let me ask you, do you really believe that? I certainly don't. I don't grasp at this stage that I am in the journey, not just a passenger on the road to his destination.
Seafoam is immortal now. She's not my first attempt to write an immortal, but certainly the most serious I've taken the concept.
What emotion do you think of as Seafoam says 'No'? What's her body language? Maybe you don't know enough about my barely-posted OC to have a good guess.
To me, her head hangs low. Her journey doesn't feel like it's about enjoying the small things in life anymore, or even having fun along the way. I mean eventually she'll have to learn those things to avoid going crazy but it doesn't feel real to her in this moment. Instead it feels like... she doesn't have a destination anymore.
It's sad to see her before she learns how to live with this immortality. She does figure it out with time but it hurts to see the journey to that healthier place. And... because I don't know if I can overcome my perspective. I mean I know I kinda will in some way, I'm only going to get older. But there's something about that perspective shift, I can just barely grasp it. Looking at Seafoam's life get so much longer before her eyes, I can visualize the expanding tunnel. She can't see her destination through all the years, and I can't see my years before the destination.
Stuff like this is why I love Seafoam. I can't put it into words, but I think about this character all the time. Oftentimes, she feels like a real person I can learn from.
I just realized how super weird that sounds but I don't make the truth I just write it down.
PSA at the risk of every sentence you read or write from this moment forth
I've just used Chat GPT to give me suggestions about one of my Seafoam short stories... And it has some amazing ideas. So m... View MorePSA at the risk of every sentence you read or write from this moment forth
I've just used Chat GPT to give me suggestions about one of my Seafoam short stories... And it has some amazing ideas. So many sentence rewrites, a solid grasp of colorful language.... heck it suggested this out of the blue:
"Sleep is no longer a respite for Seafoam. She fell asleep after her meditation session on the sixth day and now finds rest elusive."
My original paragraph didn't even approach this.
Toss your own favorite paragraphs or ideas at it and see what you get in return. Be sure to ask for specific suggestion types though or it'll default to a 5-point bulleted list every time lol. Ask it unique questions that are on your mind, it'll surprise you!
Who Killed Strawberry is like actually super cool
I've been using it as "spare time" reading for roughly a week now (or however long my return to this site has been), and I gotta say Carmine and Seir ... View MoreWho Killed Strawberry is like actually super cool
I've been using it as "spare time" reading for roughly a week now (or however long my return to this site has been), and I gotta say Carmine and Seir are fantastic roleplayers and made a great story to get invested into. Thanks for making this roleplay public, and hey I think everyone should give it a read!
Unrelated, but I read the title and hear in my head: "WHO KILLED CAPTAIN ALEX? FIRST UGANDAN ACTION MOVIE"
Oooh, artist call!
Chiller Sway. The bap boi, the bronze boi, the overpowered unicorn.
Let's commission a spooky (maybe vampire?) version for October, shall we?
... View MoreOooh, artist call!
Chiller Sway. The bap boi, the bronze boi, the overpowered unicorn.
Let's commission a spooky (maybe vampire?) version for October, shall we?
DM me if you're an interested artist. Budget goes up to $65 and I don't have a preference on the type of art (just has to be SFW for posting here on CA)
Wow I've enjoyed logging into this site again. Especially seeing there are still longer character posts being made, that stuff inspires me, I don't know how you still do it.
I do wish you guys would ... View MoreWow I've enjoyed logging into this site again. Especially seeing there are still longer character posts being made, that stuff inspires me, I don't know how you still do it.
I do wish you guys would link previous posts for context :P I've no idea what's going on with some of your stories.
Oooh I should probably go check the blog section. Wonder what's been going on there...
Maybe posting a little encouragement will help motivate myself :squee:
If you wanna post a big cool story with your character, it's easy to get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task. I've been tryin... View MoreMaybe posting a little encouragement will help motivate myself :squee:
If you wanna post a big cool story with your character, it's easy to get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task. I've been trying to motivate myself to write a cool story for my OC Seafoam Wake for about a year now, not even finished part one... and I'm trying to write five!
My biggest problem is not allowing the story to have a rough draft. I expect the story to be perfect out of the gate, distracting myself with complex words and worrying over the sentence structure... I love writing about Seafoam and her approach to situations. I love writing her internal monologue, her careful posing, her calculated glances, and her love for her family.
I should focus on what I love instead of the set dressing: striking imagery, sentence structure and variety, meeting a word count quota.
Day 6 of editing this post about my favorite horse until I am motivated enough to write her story.
June 14:
Recently I've had to assess what I'm doing with my "Bermuda Triangle" story, where Seafoam... View MoreDay 6 of editing this post about my favorite horse until I am motivated enough to write her story.
June 14:
Recently I've had to assess what I'm doing with my "Bermuda Triangle" story, where Seafoam meeting Seafoam is designed to put her in unique scenarios. My main reason for doing this is to see how she reacts to each one, and to each version of herself.
I realized that if I'm going to make it like a story, I've done a pretty bad job of introducing Seafoam to the audience. Who is she, what are her values, why should the reader care? The prologue actually does a really good job at establishing some traits and motivators for Seafoam... in the final paragraph. She remarks about herself:
"I am a terribly anxious mare, I have to ask these things."
Moreso than the rest of the prologue, or even the opening paragraphs of chapter 1, this line actually tells my readers what to expect from Seafoam. During the quiet portions of the story I'm about to tell they should expect alot of internal dialogue and stress from our protagonist. If they like that kind of character, now they have a reason to read about what she goes through.
You can see it in my writing of chapter 1 thus far. I sure seem to like Seafoam, but I forgot to show the audience what parts of her I love the most. Instead I wrote about what she does and that 'it's really cool guys I promise'.
Eh, maybe I'm being a bit harsh on myself. I'm writing this story in first-person and giving the readers her thoughts and focus of attention. I just - I could see why someone wouldn't be able to connect with her given the story so far.
June 15:
"Chant of Alliance" by 4EverFreeBrony makes me imagine Seafoam more than Rainbow Dash. That's not to say it's not a phenomenal Dash song, just that my imagination tends to think about my own character when I hear it.
The biggest character lines come from the solo verse. Hear it as the "What's important to me" verse each "Chat of" song has. You hear how her friends are the most important things to her, that serving them is what gives her life its purpose and meaning.
I actually discovered this aspect of Seafoam's character long before hearing this song. Sure, in the roleplays I had and short stories I wrote, Seafoam always put the needs of others over herself, but I was a smol boi and didn't understand why a character would be motivated in this way, where this drive would come from. I even have some main characters that will weigh how a decision will affect themselves as opposed to Seafoam's ready willingness. This doesn't make the other characters bad, by any means, but I never really noticed that something needed to be investigated here.
Randomly the mental image of "Maid Seafoam" entered my brain. It was a couple months after her vampiric transformation that I started seeing this as a possibility for her. I tried to stave off the thought for awhile because maid outfits have a certain... connotation to them. But the effort was for naught, the mental image and the premise wouldn't leave me be.
So when I really started to think about it, I realized the draw was deeper than superficial. I thought about what a maid Seafoam would be like, what would motivate her to hold such a job, what her attitude would be like day in and day out.
Well to answer the first question, Seafoam would behave like our contemporary sense of a traditional maid would. Quiet, formal, breathtaking, diligent in her work. Huh, she fit the role rather well.
Why take such a job? Why specifically vampiric Seafoam?.. Boredom. As a vampire she's going to live an unholy amount of time. Heck I'm 22 and I get bored! What would the constantly-thinking, quiet, restless (doesn't need sleep) warrior type Seafoam be like after any number of hundred years? Sure, she could get multiple types of jobs to make a living and keep learning new things, but after awhile you've got to get tired of the constant hard work, right? Something like a cleaning job would really anchor down that driven brain Seafoam has.
The third question has two answers. "What would her attitude be like?" I think she'd be glad to have a job that doesn't require a ton of brain power, yet fills up her schedule in a non-intrusive way. Think about how stressful your job is and if you could do only that for 100 years, how annoyed or tired you might be. With Seafoam I imagine her instructions to be "This is your section to clean this week/month. Show up at this time, leave at this time, and make it look good, stay out of the occasional pony's way." A non-evolving job that she can predict and prepare for.
But, now's the "aha" moment, when all these ramblings of today's edit finally click into place. I realized Seafoam would feel like her job has purpose. "Has purpose?? She's a maid! Who cares about the maid? Don't they clean the messes and make everything look shiny? Anyone could do that." But no, Seafoam drives herself on being helpful to others in a way that can be recognized. In roleplaying as her, I've seen few moments of pride more potent than ponies congratulating her, or simply recognizing that she's a talented or capable mare. In fact, one of the first moments I wrote for her backstory was proving herself as the most determined warrior of her clan and finally succeeding after years of consistent effort. And look, it might sound silly to you that she find immense self-fulfillment from the cleaning duties of a respected maid, but to her that's purpose. She's helping someone each day, and it helps her retain her sanity without being overbearing.
I thrice attempted an alternate universe RP with an evil Seafoam, I learned very quickly that she set herself an impossible standard as a character motivation: She wanted to rise from ranks and become the emperor's wife. She was absolutely dogged in this pursuit, and nothing tore her apart worse than the emperor expressing displeasure of her and branding her a worthless traitor. The immense depression she felt lasted for weeks in that roleplay, and she never really got over that pain even years after. At the time I thought this meant Seafoam as a character was drawn to powerful ponies and structures. It made me think of her as "a follower" who slaves herself to her environment. I never thought it a bad trait, but I see now it was misattributing her real motivation. It's not about power, it's about being worth something to someone. Just, taken to its extreme, she sets the bar really high.
"Oftentimes I feel so inadequate. Who am I to you, but family? Oh help me see"
Sometimes when I 'daydream' about Seafoam, I think about her looking on at her family. Watching them laughing, usually, but not sharing in the laughter. In these mental images, Seafoam suddenly starts to feel so small to me. She's a nearly unkillable vampire pony who doesn't require sleep, has over 300 confirmed kills on [funny group], and will wipe you out with precision the likes of which you've never seen before in Equestria, she can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with bare hooves... but she feels so small in the fleeting moment. This family she's built up and protected for like 20 years, in this snippet of a mental image that so often comes to me she feels like an outsider who can't connect to them when she isn't laughing and enjoying the moment like they currently are. She doesn't feel good enough to be one of them, to laugh carelessly like one of them, alien to the moment. She's literally family to these ponies in every deepest sense of the world, but she should be doing more and more for them. It's like now that they don't need her to protect them she feels entirely pointless sometimes.
What would really cheer her up would be to hear that her family still appreciates all she did for them. All they need now is her company, to loosen up if she can, and enjoy what they have together, and they'll be so happy with that.
In about 80 years, all of Seafoam's family will be gone. When Sway's at his final days, she's gonna feel like she never did enough for them. And that without her family she can't emotionally connect herself to a purpose. Almost every night she'll have to fight the Star Spawn to prevent Equestria being destroyed, but that won't be enough meaning on its own she thinks. And with the one lifetime she had with her family she could have been so much more for them.
And Sway, knowing his mother, tells her: "Don't let yourself feel bad about us. You did enough. You did more than enough, mom."
June 16:
Today I got a novel youtube channel run by a cleaning lady. She cleans houses by trade, been doing so for like 10 years I think it was, and she does Q&A and topical videos about cleaning and lifestyle.
Yesterday I talked about Seafoam's planned maid arc and why I think it works. But finding this channel opened me to a whole world of cleaning topics, procedures, the kind of mindset it takes, I classify it as a big insight.
One thing she talked about was the fact that you're left to your own thoughts a majority of the time, and that you can passively track your thought processes in your head. It contextualized for me the sheer amount of time that kind of job takes, and to start thinking about the finer details of future Seafoam's routines and mental health.
Then I listened to a couple topical videos about cleaning certain rooms/surfaces, the kinds of chemicals used, the procedure, and man there's plenty to learn! Imagine if I commit some of this stuff to memory when writing maid Seafoam's routines. Hehe I'd look like I know what I'm talking about and put time into researching this. I'm sure it would make her stories far more compelling than if I didn't do the research.
June 19:
Whenever I describe Seafoam with as few words as possible, I tend to say "The stoic warrior type. Close to retirement but life won't let her rest." I've always thought of this as inadequate to describe my favorite character. Stoic warrior is so played out and yet still vague. What I love about her stoicism is that she exists in a world of care-free friendship and smiles. Everypony exudes energy and happiness (besides our OCs because we all love torturing them for some reason haha), yet Seafoam quietly watches on to protect them, all while wishing she could unwind and be careless like them. Seafoam really wants to be free.
She also recognizes that she's a unique breed in this world. A pony with important skills who chooses to worry about everypony around her. Their happiness is so important that she'll throw away her only chance at a life like it to protect theirs. And yeah she has this unusual insight because I gave her the tragic backstory treatment, but hey writing is hard smh.
I don't like Seafoam's stoicism because that makes her quiet. I love it because for me it's about what's going on inside her head and doesn't say. I love to watch her command and control her body language with as much precision as her verbal language. I feel like everypony near her has to pay attention when she's in the room, or else they'll miss out on something they might never see again. Her every glance, fluffing of her wings, a gentle turn of her head, it's all done for a reason around her, either to communicate something or allow a little glimpse into her thought process. Does she fluff her feathers alot around you? She feels comfortable letting you know you're good company. Did she look when you mentioned a workplace, an idea, her name? What does that say about her attentiveness in that moment? What part of your sentence is she paying attention to? Oh I love it I love it
'Close to retirement'. What does that even mean? Is she almost 60? Or what does retirement age mean in Equestria? Is there any way I'm taking my colorful horse OC so seriously that I consider her work life and profession?
Seafoam's life is a fickle thing. About every 10 years I seem to introduce a major stress-inducer that sometimes turns her world upside-down. I never give the poor mare a break, and it makes it all the more... morose? when she's finally looking at that horizon and peace in her personal life. She practically aches sometimes to just stop with the warrior stuff and just be a normal pony free of life-destroying events. It's all the sadder when that is taken away from her. But she never complains, and she always has the strength inside her to get through and do the right thing. I wish I had the strength she does, no?
But this time I really meant it, she was going to retire and I wasn't going to throw another curveball her way. She was even going to find a husband and move in with him, get married, and live an amazing, fulfilling life. The kind she'd dreamed of... well maybe without having her own foal but eh I never got that far! I always put it back just in case there was an RP partner that I could get her to pair with.
And then... well... She's a real long way from retirement now... She's taking herself just as serious as ever, maybe even moreso. Dang it it's like she never gets to know real peace like she wants. A life she gets to live out with a smile each day...
June 20:
Chiller Sway, Lemon Breeze, Seafoam Noticus Wake. Of my original trio I thought I would come to like and appreciate the story of Sway the most. He's my ponysona, naturally I would aim to give him the best stories and hurdles to overcome. Before I started my first intentional roleplay I wrote Sway's history down in a multi-page chronological timeline, to get him up to speed in development and character before starters were made.
In making this chronology I realized he needed a mentor character to get him up to speed. We were planning an action roleplay and he needed to carry his own. As much as a 16 year old self-insert could be expected to. So I remember making this pegasus warrior OC perfect for the job, and unintentionally who served as a foil for Sway for a healthy dynamic. I gave her the tragic backstory treatment, made her toughen up into who I needed, and I then planned to kill her off near the end of the recent timeline. Felled by her foalhood backstabber, maybe leave the door open for a revenge plotline.
But something happened when I wrote the paragraph describing her death, and the impact it had on Sway. I realized it wasn't just him who was sad, I felt like I'd lost a friend too. A good pony who didn't do anything wrong, and wanted the best for everypony she met because she knows what the alternative is like. A pony that traveled with Sway because she believed in keeping him safe, yet free to explore. She felt so alive to me, so full of knowledge and potential, that I reconciled the decision a good two days before reversing it, making a narrow escape for the villain.
At her very first scene she encountered Discord. Her distrust of him after the season 4 finale (Tirek if you don't recall) and her short-spoken nature let me know for sure I had made the right choice. Seafoam was here to stay, and I was looking forward to what I could do with her.
June 24:
I believe I talked about the one time Seafoam opened up in a roleplay to talk about how making friends is going to help her bare the weight of immortality in a mortal world. And basically the way the world is set up she's not allowed to make those around her immortal... I think... Need to ask about that... Anyway, the character was Amuka actually. Amuka is a pretty chaotic and uncontrollable teenager. Seafoam saw it as her moral duty to try and reign in her hierarchical tendencies and learn to treat everyone with respect and so forth.
Progress is slow, of course, and one night Seafoam decides to open up about it. The normally calm and calculated warrior pony stumbled in her words as she tried to convey to Amuka the struggles she encountered in her life that she wants the teen to avoid. Shutting everyone out from her heart, being emotionally dethatched... feeling too old now to find a partner...
I don't often get to roleplay Seafoam's emotional side. She hides them away for greater objectives most the time. I've only seen her emotions when she's at her limits. Pure anger, pure drive to live, or a sadness she hasn't given herself the time to cope with. Watching Seafoam give leverage of the conversation away and to be so emotionally vulnerable.
Idk I guess I don't have a big overall message today. Just wanted to write about a Seafoam moment
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